Family Law

Coping with a Rhode Island divorce situation isn't easy.  It can be harder with children if the parents focus on their own emotions, legal and person goals and forget about the children.  Yet sometimes it can be easier with children if both parents are focused more on the well-being of the children than their own needs.

People often call to ask what I charge for a divorce without realizing that each divorce is just as different as each person coping with a divorce handles the situations, issues and emotions differently.

Though Rhode Island divorce lawyers are not "counselors" in the sense of a psychologist or other mental healthcare professional, it often falls upon the divorce attorney to address emotional and psychological issues that arise during a divorce proceeding.

In this sense a well-trained or seasoned lawyer who is also experienced in dealing with the mental and emotional fallout that accompanies a divorce can be an asset to you and your case.

Coping with divorce is an individual process. 

For instance, John may be divorcing his wife Jane after 20 years of marriage.  John is agreeable and may not have a problem at all going through the divorce process itself and reaching an amicable agreement with his spouse.

Yet John may not realize the full impact of the divorce until his first night sitting alone in his own apartment with no one to talk to, no one to a meal with and sleep in a single bed alone.  John may suddenly realize the ramifications of divorcing his wife go well beyond simply not being "happy" anymore like he felt in the first five years of his marriage.  It may not be until this point that John begins "coping with divorce."  In this instance, the Rhode Island Divorce lawyer is of little assistance and John may need to seek the assistance of a mental health professional if he finds stress, loneliness or depression taking hold.

In another case Gale may be filing for divorce from her husband Tom after a 4 year marriage.  Gale may be adamant about her divorce after she realizes that instead of attending late night meetings at the office Tom has been stopping by the local strip club.  By all accounts Gale and Tom both agree they have had an active sex life.  In this case the attorneys for either Tom or Gale may find himself or herself in the position to help Tom or Gale "cope" with their divorce.  Tom may wish to settle things quickly and be very angry because he does not want it to come out that he went to a local strip club because he also participates in the local Catholic Church as a Lector is a Knight of Columbus and is viewed a a model family man.  Tom may want to express his anger in court, need calming or need to understand how Gale might feel in this situation in order to appreciate his own conduct.  Tom's attorney, with the right approach, may be able to help Tom with his emotional struggle by directing Tom into a calmer state of mind which will foster a better attitude toward a settlement by discussing the possibilities of sealing the court record or including a non-disclosure clause in the settlement.  Tom's attorney may also be instrumental in helping Tom realize that he needs the assistance of an individual or a marriage and family counseling therapist.

The point here is that Tom's need to "cope with divorce" may arise much sooner than John's did in the prior example.  Each person's needs are different and it is those people who appreciate all the consequences of a divorce proceeding before the proceeding is completed, that can be aided by a good Rhode Island Divorce attorney who recognizes and appreciates the client's non-legal needs and assists the client either personally by helping the client deal with those non-legal issues either personally through his or her own experience or by referring the client to a licensed therapist if it appears that would be helpful to the client.

Authored by:

Christopher A. Pearsall, Esquire
PEARSALL LAW ASSOCIATES
571 Pontiac Avenue
Cranston, RI  02910
Phone:  (401) 354-2369

Attorney Pearsall's practice is focused almost exclusively in the areas of Divorce and Family law.

NOTE:  The postings on this website are NOT legal advice, DO NOT create an attorney/client relationship and are NOT a substitute for a detailed consultation with an attorney experienced in the state where you have your legal issue.  This site is based on Rhode Island and is presented for the convenience of the internet public.

* The Rhode Island Supreme Court licenses all lawyers in the general practice of law and has no procedure for recognition of specialty in any area of law.