Home -> Law Blog Directory -> Law Humor Blogs -> Bernard Madoff

Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

Bernie Back On Base..Its All About The Brand!

OK-So now everyone's heard that Madoff's Mets tickets scored a home run on the electronic auction; $500 face value seats went for $3750 each!

Who do you think told Nose Picker Picard to put the tix on eBay?? That was MY idea. After all, I'm the f--king former Chairman of NASDAQ, and if anybody knows how to get something to trade up on a screen, its me.

Sure, Andy helped goose the price a bit, but that's the way these trading systems work--but that's not the point--the point is, Bernie is a brand. Which is why my buddy John Thain is coming in to talk to us about the top job at Madoff Mania and dusting off the Primex electronic trading platform for a whole bunch of things.

I'm thinking the next thing we'll auction off is that pair of cashmere pants that goniff at "Trillions" in Palm Beach is sitting on. $2000 for a pair of slacks he charged me! Crazy, right? But since its obvious people want to be sitting in my seat, think what they'll pay to wear my pants!!

Note to Irving Picard: Since everyone is busy filing freezes, Ira's going to be filing a motion this week to freeze that ridiculous auction that you're holding for our trading business. The f--king chairs from the trading floor are worth more than what that fukaked firm in Boston offered to pay for the entire firm. I always say "Do it right, not right away.." Don't believe me--read about it in my favorite rag--they're scooping every story!

Next--talking about prizes, Ruth's teamed up with Lin Gosman--the gal on the right, and the two of them are managing a special "Win a Trip to Hong Kong" promotion for that new dirty book every is reading. I haven't got my copy yet, but I'm hearing its making all of the girls hot.

So here's how it works:
1. Buy a copy (just click on the book cover),
2. Then send your receipt to Madoff Mania, attn: Frank D.
3. You'll be entered into a special drawing--if we pick your receipt, you'll win a two week, 4-star, all expense paid trip to Hong Kong.
4. Steve Harbeck from SIPC will be announcing the lucky winner when he gets around to it.
5. No more than 3 sales receipts per household permitted.

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on April 13, 2009 (boomark / email).