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A Letter

Dear 2L in my Humanitarian Law Seminar,

YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE!

The reason you are the only 2L in this class is because it's a class of 12 people, 3Ls had registration priority over you and you got EXTREMELY lucky by getting into the course a week into the semester thanks to one of my fellow friends having to drop the course for irrelevant reasons. I normally don't give a rats ass about who is in what year of law school, all I really care about is passing so I can get the hell out of here in May. But you sir, are an absolute ass. The syllabus for this course said that the final papers would be due on December 1 but that the date was negotiable. Well, the remaining 11 students in the class began negotiations 3 weeks ago to move that date to December 17 (the last day of finals). We did this for a number of reasons, one being that most of us are procrastinators but the bigger reason being that we didn't want to be tied down to finishing the paper over Thanksgiving weekend, most of us would prefer to spend that time with our families, friends, etc, doing anything but working on a final draft of a law paper. Professor Prick was within seconds of granting our "request for continuance" today in class and then you, Mr. Asshole, opened your mouth:

"But this isn't fair sir, I'm already almost done with my paper and I think it's unfair to extend the deadline because some people have procrastinated in starting their papers."

So Professor Prick kept the deadline of December 1, thus denying our "motion for continuance." This had me pretty steamed, but your whining that lead to your victory in keeping the December 1 deadline isn't what sent me over the edge to justify writing this letter to you.

It was what transpired 15 minutes after the end of class today that has put you at the top of my shit list. You see, Mr. Asshole, I was sitting in one of those really tall backed chairs (the ones that you can't tell who is sitting in them if you are standing behind the chair) facing the windows on the 2nd floor of the building. I was writing a couple emails and getting a few things in order for a meeting later this afternoon. You, and your little friend, walked up and plopped down at the table directly behind the tall backed chairs where you proceeded to tell your friend all about your little victory that you scored in class today:

"So I totally got the professor to keep the deadline at December 1, you should have seen all of the pissed off looks on the 3Ls faces, they are a bunch of procrastinating bastards. Frankly I don't really give a shit what the due date is, but when a class is curved you gotta do what you gotta do, when it became apparent that none of them have started I decided it would help me out to have the paper due on the orignal date because now they will all be scrambling to finish the papers."

I hate school, I hate grades, and I would have procrastinated on this assignment regardless of which day the paper is due. But hearing that kind of crap just pisses me off. I have never been in favor of playing games at the expense of your classmates and I don't tolerate anyone who thinks that scheming and cunning maneuvers are the way to play the game in law school to get ahead. I hope I have the chance to interview you, Mr. Asshole, one day for a job, the legal community in [Useless] City is small and this is something I won't soon forget.

Sincerely,

[ Useless Dicta ]

P.S.: Thanks to you and your dumb comments, I am now motivated to actually do a good job on this paper. Seeing as how I have a pretty extensive background in the topic area that this class covers, I plan on taking the top grade in this class, it's the first and ONLY time I have ever given a damn about a grade in law school.

Full post as published by [ Useless Dicta ] on November 11, 2008 (boomark / email).