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The B-list

I am feeling stressed and overwhelmed -- that kind of feeling that makes me want to retreat for a day or ten. I could just hold on -- we're going out of town as a family for a three day weekend. I could just hold on til tomorrow. But I can't hold on. I might take a personal day today. But I won't do nothing, which is what I need to do in order to feel better. Actually, that won't make me feel better at all, because all of today's A-list stuff will end up on the B-list.

The B-list.

You have a B-list -- that list of things that you've been meaning to do but can't ever quite get to. The list that runs through your head at night, but you could not possibly get to after a day filled with A-list priorities. My B-list is getting ridiculous, and some of it has deadlines. I gotta prioritize, and take time to prioritize.

This is temporary. I know what triggered this feeling, so I know its temporary.

Trigger?

A job opportunity. A looong shot but something to try for. Something that I want but had written off as impossible last time it didn't work out. I am so tired of trying and failing at this. So many rejections make me think that though *I* think I am cut out for the job, they clearly don't. And maybe I shouldn't bother because I'll only get my hopes up again, if my resume even gets past the first screening.

Reading that paragraph one might think I've totally given up on all jobs. I haven't -- no no -- I am only defeatist about a particular job. I've decided to try though, because I'll regret it if I don't.

Man this post is a total whine-fest.

Full post as published by Butterflyfish on February 12, 2009 (boomark / email).