Law Humor

By Judge Jerry Buchmeyer

From David S. Crawford of Arlington (Perdue, Brandon, etc.), this marvelous excerpt from the transcript of a hearing before Judge Thomas Wilson Lowe III of Fort Worth (236th District Court) in a case involving a pro se, "lower case" defendant.

THE COURT: How do you wish to be addressed?

MR DORSETT: Leonard R. Dorsett not in upper case.

THE COURT: I don't know how to speak in lower case, sir ...Are you speaking in upper case or lower case, sir?

MR DORSETT: lower case.

THE COURT: (wisely): The court reporter will record this in lower case. This is Cause Number L-14534-97, Carroll Independent School District versus Leonard R. Dorsett. Is plaintiff ready?

MR. CRAWFORD: plaintiff is ready, your honor.

THE COURT: Is respondent ready? ...(No response) ... Leonard R. Dorsett, that's you. You are the respondent. Are you ready?

MR DORSETT: i have stated that i'm here as a witness, not as a respondent because i have not been properly identified ...

THE COURT: Sir, just a minute. The court really just wanted a "yes" or "no." Is that a "no?"

MR DORSETT: That's a "no."

THE COURT: Are you requesting a continuance by the court?

MR DORSETT: i don't know how to answer that, sir, because this is my first time in a courtroom. i am trying to get across to the court that i am here as a witness in lower case letter to begin with, not here as a respondent in uppercase letter.

THE COURT: The court takes note of that. Plaintiff, will you proceed.

MR. CRAWFORD: thank you, your honor.

Full post as published by Say What! on October 17, 2008 (boomark / email).