Law Humor

While I was checking to make sure that toner cartridges and snow globes are still banned from airplanes (they are), I noticed that there are lots of other things that are also not allowed in your carry-on bags. In fact, the TSA has a pretty comprehensive Prohibited Items List, although why they bother to enumerate so many things is not clear given that the list is "not intended to be all-inclusive" and officers still "may determine that an item not on the Prohibited Items List is prohibited." Hey guys, would it be easier for you to just make a short list of what we can bring? Please advise.

Here is a selection of items that are Officially Prohibited, which I offer as a public service just in case you are unsure whether any of these things can go in your carry-on:

• Box cutters
• Meat cleavers
• Ice axes
• Sabers
• Cricket bats
• Spear guns
• Cattle prods
• Throwing stars
• Cordless portable power saws
• "Tools greater than seven inches in length" (ahem)
• Dynamite
• Hand grenades
• Plastic explosives
• Vehicle airbags

I guess you'll have to find another way to get your vehicle airbags to your destination. Like possibly driving the vehicle there.

Good news, though: you can bring a parachute.