Law Humor

Cat Microwaved By Lawyer?

By John Mesirow

It?s good to be passionate about your work, but not too passionate. Take the case of Stanley Protokowicz, a Maryland divorce lawyer. He represented one Thomas Sanders (his best friend), who, shortly after divorce proceedings began, learned that his wife had been having an extramarital affair. Things began to go downhill at a meeting after a hearing before Harford County Circuit Court Judge Cypert Whitfill. As the Circuit Court for Baltimore County later explained:

It was during this meeting to discuss child custody and visitation that [Mr. Protokowicz] referred to Ms. Sanders as a slut. Although [Mr. Protokowicz] testified that it was Ms. Mervis (the lawyer for Ms. Sanders) who first referred to her client as a slut, the court finds [Mr. Protokowicz] was the first to use the term. Apparently [Mr. Protokowicz] was extremely emotional about Ms. Sanders conduct which he termed immoral. During this period there were rumors that there had been more than one adulterous affair during their marriage.

The Court continues (as if reciting the plot from a bad episode of Melrose Place):

Some of those rumors persisted and perhaps originated at the country club. There was some attempt by some members of the country club to bar Ms. Sanders' use of the club swimming pool. Apparently Mr. Sanders was behind Ms. Sanders' exclusion. . . In response to Ms. Mervis' questioning as to why this was happening at the club, [Mr. Protokowicz] speculated that prior to the Sanders' marital problems, Ms. Sanders was very popular at the club. Women members would circle around her when she put her chair down at the pool and now when she put her chair down, the others turned their chairs away.

Ms. Mervis referred to Ms. Sanders as a JAP, saying that if Ms. Sanders weren't Jewish, she should be because she's a Jewish American Princess. (Ms. Mervis attributes that reference to [Mr. Protokowicz]) In response to Ms. Mervis' insistence on an explanation of why the women at the country club were snubbing Ms. Sanders, [Mr. Protokowicz] said, ?Lisa, if I went into your Temple this week and shit on the floor, you wouldn't welcome me back next week.? Ms. Mervis testified that she was offended and took the remarks as anti-semitic.

Cat lovers might want to stop here. Dog lovers, click here to get to the microwaved cat.

Full post as published by Legal Juice on July 04, 2008 (boomark / email).