Law Humor

The Denver County DA's office has added a criminal-mischief count to the charges against a man accused of breaking into his ex-wife's home and engaging in, well, mischief. The suspect was arrested in December after the woman accused him of breaking into her house, leaving raw chicken parts in the heating vents, pouring bleach into her piano and running around on her new hardwood floors while wearing a pair of bicycle cleats.

The arrest-warrant affidavit reportedly described the suspect as "an avid bike rider who wears a size 13 shoe."

I'm sure there is a perfectly innocent explanation for all this, but it does look like the defense will probably go the mistaken-identity route. "We're still investigating the case," said the man's lawyer, who also claimed that the bike shoes found at the suspect's home did not match the cleat marks found at the scene. Asked whether he thought the allegations might affect his client's career as a lobbyist, he said, "We're not concerned. But I agree it's a colorful affidavit."

The ex-wife claimed she began to suspect her ex-husband (although I assume he would have been on the short list anyway) a week or two after the break-in, when he allegedly asked her if she "wanted some chicken that was about to expire." The woman said she became suspicious partly because they had not been discussing chicken or chicken parts at the time.