Banking Law

It seems that these days, there's nothing but bad news coming out of this nation's capitol, a town I like to call "Washington, D.C." but other, less charitable types refer to as "A Sullen City In A Swamp." Therefore, when a news flash of glad tidings like this one bursts across the airwaves, you've got to grab it and squeeze until it pops like a cannolo shoved in a fat congressperson's gaping pie hole.

The economic malaise hanging over the Washington area has ushered in a massive wave of business lawsuits as lenders, suppliers and contractors ? and their attorneys ? come knocking.

The number of contract-related business suits filed in five area jurisdictions is nearly triple what it was three years ago, according to court records collected by American City Business Leads and analyzed by the Washington Business Journal.

[...]

The total number of lawsuits is up 75 percent from 2006 levels.

?This is what happens in recessions,? said Pete Evans, a partner in Holland & Knight LLP?s D.C. office, who said many of the new lawsuits are disputes about money that is owed.

"Disputes about money that is owed." To a bank litigator, that phrase is as orgasmic as "This is bet-the-company litigation to us, counselor." You turn on the billing clock and it just keeps going and going and going until the Second Coming or the client goes broke, whichever occurs first. Actually, it doesn't really matter which comes first, because every lawyer knows, in his or her heart-of-hearts, that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a lawyer to pass through the pearly gates. We might as well, in our brief moment in eternity, cry "Havoc!" and let loose the hounds of the billable hour.

To put a cherry on the top of the sundae, the Journal found that four of the five most litigious entities were banks or finance companies. I assume the fifth was a claimant to the estate of the late, great King of Pop. By the way, have any of you heard that Michael Jackson is still dead? I just heard that on CNN, Fox News and MSNBC.

At any rate, litigators who represent banks are busy planning to rip a larger piece of their law firm's economic pie away from those useless transactional attorneys, especially all the slugs who used to do securitization work. Swimming with sharks subjects the Groupers to such agony when there's chum in the water. That's always the case. So sad. Get ready for the kinder, gentler fish to be eaten by their more pugnacious brethren. It's the law of the sea.

The civil (what an ironic term) litigators better not get too comfortable, though. The article portends stiff competition in the "I-billed-more-hours-than-you-did-this-month" race from two groups that are often their bête noire: bankruptcy lawyers and white collar defense counsel. In times as bad as these, those two groups are always as busy as one-armed paper-hangers. Throw in divorce lawyers and you've suddenly assembled The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Bad times for banks and most businesses. Good times for many lawyers.

Brings a little tear of joy to the corner of your eye, doesn't it?