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Last Entry: April 01, 2011 at 15:17:00

Six Reasons I Will Not Be Blogging This Morning.

Posted on September 17, 2009
Hi kids, here they are:1. I just had new speakers installed at my office and I plan to blare Quadrophenia at excessive volumes so the new associates stay way the hail out of my way (note to sweet kitchen lady -- you can still bring in the cafecito at 10:30)...

3d DCA Watch -- (Possibly) Upholding A Serious Wrong Edition

Posted on September 16, 2009
Well kids it's time to take a deep breath and breathe breathe breathe, in and out, visualize, close your eyes and inhale slowly as you imagine yourself as a cork on the ocean, drifting ever so slightly across a judicial sea, a calm and peaceful sea, where there are frolicking dolphins and rainbows and lollipops and Judge Schwartz and...

Smiles, Everyone!

Posted on September 16, 2009
We've previously written about the $22.5 billion RICO suit that Podhurst's Steven Marks brought in Russia against the Bank of New York Mellon, which involved an expert affidavit by none other than Michael Hanzman.Forbes previously reported that the plaintiffs were looking at something like $800 million as a reasonable settlement figure...

RIP Patrick Swayze.

Posted on September 15, 2009

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Forum Nons Are Funny Things

Posted on September 15, 2009
Remember that Chevron suit in Ecuador that Glenn Garvin wrote about recently? (We gave our take about it here).Glenn basically accused the lawyers bringing the suit of carpetbagging, filing the case down there when the politics of that country started to take a leftward tilt...

Pat Riley Would Rather Not Be Deposed.

Posted on September 15, 2009
So Dwyane Wade and his Bilzen attorney Mike Kreitzer are gearing up for a big mediation tomorrow before Bill Hearon that may resolve a number of lawsuits pending against the Heat megastar:Wade attorney Michael Kreitzer said the Heat star wants all issues on the table...

When Lawyers Blog

Posted on September 14, 2009
As Mr. Markus notes, the Broward Blog and allegedly intemperate judicial commenter Sean Conway made the front page of the Sunday NYT:For his part, Mr. Conway noted that the judge he criticized was reprimanded last year by the Florida Supreme Court, which affirmed a state panel?s criticism of what it called an ?arrogant, discourteous and impatient? manner with lawyers in another case...

Thank Goodness For Julie Kay.

Posted on September 11, 2009
Forget Tom Scott, if I were Judge Gold I would appoint the intrepid Julie Kay to figure out what the hail is happening here:?I don?t know why it has risen to this level,? said Concepcion, lead counsel for the Elliotts. ?This is one of those unfortunate cases where the animosity has spilled over to the attorneys...

SFL Friday -- Perform Some Public Service, Plebes!

Posted on September 11, 2009
Well kids today is Friday but it's also the eighth anniversary of 9/11.Talk about cognitive dissonance.It's a shame that eight years later the legacy of 9/11 can be polarizing to some.Still, for a moment put aside the regrettable politicization and manipulation, and remember the lives lost, the heroes found, the challenges our nation faced that day and those we will continue to face and must defeat in order preserve our sometimes-flawed but great democracy...

PACER Surfing Thursday -- Sorry About That, Chief!

Posted on September 10, 2009
Dear Judge Graham and Magistrate Judge Torres:It is with some regret that I must write you both in relation to the docket in Appel v. Liberty American Insurance Company.Perhaps I am reading it wrong, but there appears to be some kind of misunderstanding...

Remember Frank Guerra?

Posted on September 10, 2009
I was reading this article about more foreclosure problems at downtown's Wind By Neo (a beautiful building, btw) when something familiar caught my eye:On Sept. 2, Wachovia filed a foreclosure action against Neo Epoch 1 and managing members Frank Guerra, Lissette M...

Help Wanted -- Loring Spolter Is Looking For Someone to Bounce Ideas Off Of.

Posted on September 09, 2009
Poor Fort Lauderdale attorney Loring Spolter.All he did was suggest to Judge Zloch that he is biased and cherry picks cases so he can further his conservative, anti-employment plaintiffs' agenda:Fort Lauderdale lawyer Loring Spolter said the former chief judge allows his religious and conservative views to color his decisions...

3d DCA Watch -- I Believe Edition!

Posted on September 09, 2009
Hi kids, the concrete bunker of justice is undergoing renovations, and will soon be even more fortified and concrete-like if that's possible.So rejoice rejoice (you have no choice)!In the meantime, the coffee must be swilled, the robes must be resplendent, the judicial wisdom must be closely rationed and dispensed only in small doses and only on Wednesdays and -- oh yeah -- Judge Schwartz must on occasion dissent:Prebkevitz v...

Gunster Yoakley Gets Some Good Press.

Posted on September 08, 2009
Did you all catch the story Sunday in the Herald regarding George LeMieux's law firm, Gunster Yoakley, and their recent dealings:The law firm, chaired by LeMieux, helped foreign workers get visas last fall to help build a hotel and condos in Miami, depriving dozens of Floridians jobs at a time of rising unemployment...

Obama and Mandela and Castro, Together Again.

Posted on September 05, 2009
Remember when noted Radical Black Communist Nelson Mandela came to Miami, and our public officials earned everlasting international scorn by acting like a complete bunch of close-minded, reactionary idiots?Well we have another noted Radical Black Communist who wants to spread his message all over our kids, so let's dust off the Mandela playbook:But Miami-Dade schools will not mass broadcast the speech, spokesman John Schuster said...

SFL Friday -- O Canada Labor Day Weekend Edition

Posted on September 04, 2009
Have you guys seen this new 11th Circuit opinion from Judge Carnes on Tenet Health Care, affirming an sj and bad Daubert ruling against plaintiff Boca Raton Community Hospital?I love the first paragraph:More than a hundred years ago the mother of modern nursing, Florence Nightingale, observed: ?It may be a strange principle to enunciate as the very first requirement in a Hospital that it should do the sick no harm...

Lew Freeman Officially Retires 'Titanic' Metaphor; Now Trying Out Classic TV References

Posted on September 04, 2009
Everyone by now is familiar with Lew Freeman's love of Titanic metaphors. You can see a few of Lew's greatest Titanic hits here, here and here.But like any good stand-up or forensic accountant, you got to keep your material fresh.Making tentative baby steps, Lew recently branched out from the "nautical disaster" metaphor genre and went straight for the popular backed up sewage reference...

Scratch Ecuador From Your Kinney Analysis.

Posted on September 03, 2009
Next time some defendant wants to argue that the legal system of a South American country is perfectly suitable to handle the lawsuit and therefore the case must be dismissed under a Kinney forum non analysis, just show the court this:The latest turn of events has Chevron and its lawyers from Jones Day firing back against 30,000 plaintiffs, their lawyers and the Ecuadorean legal system...

Steve Zack Explains How He Broke Leg -- You Gotta Hear This Story!

Posted on September 03, 2009
Oh this is a kneeslapper, you know Steve Zack?Here's the latest -- he broke his fibula.Why, may you ask, is that interesting or even arguably newsworthy?Here's why -- you're not going to believe how it happened:``Silliest thing. There was loose gravel over a road...

3d DCA Watch -- I'm Only Sleeping Edition

Posted on September 02, 2009
Hi kids!For once Tallahassee kept their grubby hands out of it and thus the carefully packaged written utterances have been released from the concrete bunker precisely on schedule, much like well-timed stink bombs at a high school assembly.So let us not prevaricate, as it is notably apodictic that we are poised to decline the parties' invitation...

Checking Up on Mr. Chow.

Posted on September 02, 2009
An inquisitive reader asks, "what's up with the Mr. Chow lawsuit"?My answer -- what am I, Action Line?Still, my job here is to inform, so let's a peek...What do you know, Mr. Chow (represented by Alan Kluger) has filed a response to the defendant's motion to dismiss, and it contains this blockbuster statement about current federal pleading standards:Inexplicably, Defendants suggest that Plaintiffs should have attached their evidentiary proof in support of their claims to the complaint itself, as they pointedly emphasize that ?Plaintiffs[] fail[] to attach any documents in support of its [sic] claims? to the Amended Complaint...

Cohiba Cigars and Lattes? It's Miami, Your Honor!

Posted on September 01, 2009
It's pretty well known that all lawyers in Miami do all day is smoke Cuban cigars and drink lattes.That's why we're too busy to answer the phone when the judge calls for a telephonic hearing. And there's definitely no way I'm shutting down my WoW browser just because chambers is on the line...

Plea to Miami Herald -- Good Lord, Please Don't Publish This Richard Cohen Column!

Posted on September 01, 2009
We all know the Miami Herald publishes old WP opinion columns long after they have been widely circulated and debunked on the tubes, I guess because they figure some old lady in Westchester doesn't have online access and therefore cannot learn what David Broder thinks about bipartisanship in real-time...

Tips For Young Lawyers -- Broward Edition.

Posted on September 01, 2009
A spy report from inside Judge Zeller's courtroom this morning, all regarding one lawyer who shall remain nameless:1. Try to be on time.Coming 20 minutes late and making your way through a crowded courtroom while the judge is speaking is probably a bad idea...

Foreclosure Follies -- State Court Update

Posted on August 31, 2009
Anybody who's been in state court lately knows the burdens of the foreclosure docket on the judges, clerks, staff, and of course the civil lawyers. It's a mess out there.It's unclear whether the forced mediation route will lessen the overload, though it does hold some promise: A task force convened by the Florida Supreme Court to examine the foreclosure crisis has endorsed that model, likening it to "off-ramps to get traffic off the road...

Robbery Suspect Denounces Robbery Investigation As "Unwise."

Posted on August 31, 2009
Oy did I wake up pissed off this morning.But then I read John Pacenti's tremendous column today and learned that former prosecutor Sean Cronin, who got into such hot water for his shockingly poor judgment during the Ali Shaygan trial before Judge Gold (now on appeal), is actually working on Gitmo cases!?!?!Thanks John, now I feel a whole lot better...

Probably Not Good to Be "Outside Attorney A."

Posted on August 28, 2009
Former CFO for R. Allen Stanford, Jim Davis, pleaded guilty to fraud yesterday.This is probably not good news for Proskauer's Tom Sjoblom, who the WSJ Law Blog has written is most likely "Outside Attorney A" in the Davis plea agreement.Here's just some of the fun stuff detailed by the Law Blog from the agreement:For starters, Sjoblom comes across in the agreement as a fervent defender of Stanford International Bank as early as 2006...

BREAKING -- Pepe Le Pew Named New US Senator!

Posted on August 28, 2009
So I see everybody is buzzing about that French love-sick skunk being named the new US Senator from Florida.....Huh? You mean it's not...?Oops -- apparently the new US Senator is in fact Gunster chairman and former Crist chief of staff George LeMieux...

SFL Friday -- School's Out, Plebs! (Until Monday)

Posted on August 28, 2009
So how many of you survived the first week?Let me rephrase -- how many of you survived the first week sober?Ok, so none of us did.Still, it's Friday afternoon and that means no one is paying any attention to what they are working on anymore.Just file the motion or response you have been editing and cut out already! The partner's gone, the judge is gone, the clerks are there but they stopped working, opposing counsel won't read anything until Monday, possibly Tuesday -- get the hail out of here...

A Full Service Firm, Providing A Wide Range of Legal Services to All Our Ice Delivery Truck Clients!

Posted on August 27, 2009
How'd you like to have a practice that does nothing other than service condo associations in the middle of this real estate meltdown?Meet Robert Kaye:Kaye is a partner with Kaye & Bender law firm in Fort Lauderdale. The full-service commercial law firm represents more than 600 condominium and homeowner associations in Broward, Miami-Dade and Palm Beach counties...

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