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Last Entry: April 01, 2011 at 15:17:00

"Earth Times" Announces Something About Former Judge Jorge Perez!

Posted on June 03, 2010
Listen, I'm happy to see former Judge Jorge Perez joining up with a fine shop like Gordon Rees, but maybe their PR people could find a better spot for the announcement than something called "Earth Times":Former Circuit Court Judge Jorge J. Perez, an attorney with extensive litigation and creditors? rights experience in state, federal and administrative courts, has joined the Miami office of Gordon & Rees LLP as a partner...

Chinese Drywall Defense: Some People Want Their House To Smell Like Farts!

Posted on June 03, 2010
Dear readers, I have let you down.An alert tipster pointed out a story I missed this morning.How this escaped my attention is a mystery but I am deeply sorry.Anyways, here goes:But in a sworn deposition in May, Banner executive Scott Giering said he wasn't aware of any problem with the Chinese-made drywall his company sold, other than through media reports...

Judges Recuse Themselves in Gulf Oil Disaster

Posted on June 02, 2010
Judges are dropping like flies in the Gulf Oil disaster, recusing faster than you can say "worst environmental catastrophe of our lifetimes."Curiously, one judge has not issued an order of recusal: BP and other defendants in spill cases asked the multidistrict panel to put the case in Houston, home of each one?s U...

3d DCA Watch -- "Legal Panache" Edition!

Posted on June 02, 2010
Is the right to a jury trial a question of great public importance?That's the issue certified by the Resplendently Resplendent Ones today in Weisenberg v. Costa, which involved a forum selection clause that specifies admiralty jurisdiction but not that the legal consequence of being in admiralty is no jury trial...

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Dwyane Wade Settlement!

Posted on June 01, 2010
Looks like a global one, too:The trial pitting Miami Heat star Dwyane Wade against two former business partners who wanted $25 million after a restaurant deal went sour has come to a quick end, with the sides announcing a confidential settlement. Court was delayed for unexplained reasons for nearly three hours Tuesday...

"Pop Quiz, Hot Shot!"

Posted on June 01, 2010
I don't know about you, but I often begin my oral arguments with those immortal words from Speed.It kinda throws the judge for a loop and signals to opposing counsel that you're ready to blow something up -- in other words, a nice icebreaker.So how was your weekend? (Did you see this story about the recent trend to begin sentences with so?)I know I know, Dennis Hopper RIP...

Buju Banton Trial Delayed.

Posted on May 31, 2010
I see David noted that nice article on Judge Cohn.Lots of good stuff in there, but this part stuck out:Growing up in Tuskegee, Ala., during the civil rights struggles of the 1950s and 60s, the Cohns owned a store and were one of two Jewish families in town...

Hulk Hogan Cocoa Pebbles Smackdown!

Posted on May 29, 2010
Did you hear Hulk Hogan has sued Post Cereal in the MD FL over a stupid Cocoa Pebbles ad? You can read the complaint here.The first 40 or so paragraphs have numerous interesting though irrelevant factoids about Hulk's career.For example, did you know that in 1994 Hulk starred in his own TV series, Thunder in Paradise (co-starring the lovely Carol Alt)?And, in 1995, Hulk appeared on TBN's Kids Against Crime!What that level of detail has to do with whether or not Post used Hulk's likeness without permission, I have no idea...

Next Time, Make Them Play the Game of Life!

Posted on May 28, 2010
It's funny how litigators argue over the most minor things.A perennial source of unchecked petty lawyer impulses is the location and timing of depositions.It has to be on "my turf" or -- at worst -- a "neutral location."For some, traveling to opposing counsel's office for a deposition is akin to the French surrendering at a certain historic railway car in Compiegne...

SFL Friday -- Memorial Day Edition!

Posted on May 28, 2010
So if you just must read Judge Farina's recent Chinese Drywall class certification order, I created a Scribd thingy-dingy for your eyes only, right here.Boy Victor's a good writer!(I kid, I kid)Whoa -- Gary Coleman, RIP.This may not surprise anyone, but I was more upset when we lost Dana Plato...

May the Road Rise to Meet You.

Posted on May 27, 2010
See you all at the Biltmore.

Your Useless and Pointless Knowledge

Posted on May 27, 2010
Let me ask you something -- what is the point of the Herald's five-minute summary, or whatever it's called -- that occupies a half page yet provides no new content of any kind?Are there really people out there who are unable to scan a newspaper like the Herald in five minutes, without having a pointless summary that attempts to replicate what the Herald looks like on the internet?Seriously, the paper's thin enough without having repetitive filler that serves no purpose whatsoever...

Judge Bailey to Foreclosure Lawyers: Wake Up and Smell the Coffee!

Posted on May 26, 2010
Transcript Miami I believe the legal term is "a righteous arse-kicking."(Thanks to Matt Weidner for posting).

3d DCA Watch -- Tangled Up in Blue Edition.

Posted on May 26, 2010
I don't know, I'm in a pretty sour mood this morning.The oil keeps spilling, the idiots keep talking and/or filing things, the kids grow up, great judges pass on, Dwyane Wade testifies before Judge Adrien, tennis stars do silly things -- you see what I mean?How 'bout this for quality lawyering:By Davis's estimate, it took 12-15 minutes to get from the rig to the work boat, but it would take another 36-40 hours before they were to return to shore ? even though there were dozens of boats in the area and Coast Guard helicopters airlifting the most severely injured to hospital...

11th Circuit Into This Whole "Jurisdiction" Thing.

Posted on May 25, 2010
halmos11thcircuit My favorite case (ok, I take that back -- I have several) just had a fun 11th Circuit development.Who knew?Turns out you can't just appeal the dismissal of your lawsuit when you have been given leave to amend and in fact have filed an amended pleading:This appeal is DISMISSED, sua sponte, for lack of jurisdiction...

Judge Davis RIP

Posted on May 25, 2010
David reports with sadness the death of Judge Edward B. Davis. Rump has additional thoughts here.I echo what's been written.I knew Judge Davis pretty well back when I was a lowly clerk kicking around the federal courthouse, and worked with him some in private practice as well...

"Your Honor, I Object!"

Posted on May 24, 2010
Court: Ms. Lohan, do you recognize the severity of the charges?LL: $h@t, I left the coke in the other bag!Court: Ms Lohan, did you hear me? I am speaking to you.LL: Sorry, I have to text my dealer.Court: Your what?LL: Do they serve Grey Goose in prison?[long disoriented pause, lays head on table, awakens suddenly] LL: Hey, look at me, I'm a lawyer!!

Stop Bullyragging My Heart Around.

Posted on May 24, 2010
Anyone remember that Ebay suit filed by Miami Beach lawyer Elliot Miller?Turns out the defendant appears to have some pro bono representation by a Brevard lawyer who uses the word "bullyragging" when speaking to the press:Cape Canaveral attorney Tony Hernandez said he recently filed a motion on behalf of Steadman, seeking to have the case dismissed...

Glenn Garvin Makes Crude Sexual Joke About Lawyers That Also Involves Killing Them!

Posted on May 23, 2010
I know lawyer jokes are pretty hip.In fact, they're probably about as cutting-edge as cracking wise about airplane food.That, plus the traffic in L.A.Anyway, I was intrigued by Herald Executive Editor Anders Gyllenhaal's column today on the Pulitzers, in which he notes the "depth, precision and good writing that is part of the newspaper tradition...

SFL Friday -- Demon Seed and Milkshakes Edition

Posted on May 21, 2010
Hi kids, it's too nice outside to sit in front of a computer, so I'm bringing all my drafts, cases, discovery requests -- oh hail I'm packing gin, a waterproof camera, various windsurfing accessories and Ravel, who am I kidding?So the eggheads have finally created synthetic life: The genome pioneer J...

Suge Knight Late To Own Deposition, Gets Sanctioned!

Posted on May 21, 2010
I can only imagine what it must be like for Marc Brumer to represent Suge Knight.Suge's a busy man -- for instance he was just arrested again.All that drama takes time!Perhaps that's why he was 3.25 hours late for his own deposition:ORDERED AND ADJUDGED that the plaintiff shall reimburse the defendants $1300...

Warren Sapp, Roy Black, and Other Masters of the Universe.

Posted on May 21, 2010
sapppetition I'm pretty sure I saw this in a movie once:This morning, Mr. Goodman was arrested at the Four Seasons Hotel in Miami and charged with DUI manslaughter and vehicular homicide...

Justice Lewis on 3d DCA Opinion: Litigants Beware!

Posted on May 20, 2010
We previously covered this case here, but the FSC has suddenly reversed itself and decided not to take on the issue of extensions of statutes of limitations based on administrative bad weather orders.Here's the per curiam opinion:We initially accepted jurisdiction to review the decision of the Third District Court of Appeal in Ramirez v...

Miami: It's All About The Fruit.

Posted on May 20, 2010
Is it Friday yet?South Florida celebrity divorce attorney Raymond Rafool, who boasts clients such as Hulk Hogan's wife Linda, said Miami can be one seductive mistress. The Miami scene -- the unique nightlife, culture and the scantily clad hotties -- can offer relationship-ending temptations that aren't as easily available in other parts of the country, he said...

3d DCA Watch -- Ca-Ca-Ca-Ca-Ca-Catch the Wave!

Posted on May 19, 2010
At what point do all the opinions look the same?xxxxx v. Statexxxxx v. Unitedzzzzz v. zzzzzzLet me be honest -- I'd like to see some graphics and flash content on the 3d DCA website. You know, snazz it up a bit.Make it something the "kids" can relate to...

Open Letter To Bill McCollum (This Time With Esperanto!)

Posted on May 19, 2010
In the spirit of goodwill and universal peace and understanding, I offer this polite correspondence to our Attorney General -- with a related note to our beloved 3d DCA entirely in Esperanto, the language of love (and Star Trek):Dear Bill:You're a schmuck...

Glenn Garvin Still Lives In Tuckahoe.

Posted on May 18, 2010
It's no secret that Glenn Garvin's entire worldview was shaped by the culture wars of the 60s as filtered through 70s era sitcoms -- wars in which somehow Garvin failed to get sufficiently high or sufficiently laid.In today's column, Garvin fearmongers over a current fixation of the far right -- Obama's continuing plan to turn America into socialized Europe, this time by way of the VAT...

Relax, Facebook Just Wants to "Harvest" Your Data!

Posted on May 18, 2010
But first they want to tenderize it some, like those friendly farmers from Motel Hell: Alana Joy, who started the Facebookprotest.com site organizing the June 6 event, said she is more upset about the way Facebook has made changes, rather than what's changed...

The Perils of Filing "Emergency" Discovery Motions.

Posted on May 17, 2010
I don't know Cathrin Lorentz but she's apparently a model who has sued Sunshine Health Products over the use of her image to promote a teeth whitening product called "Sunshine Smiles." (The complaint is here).Well seems her attorney filed an "emergency" motion for protective order to prevent Ms...

"Only in America."

Posted on May 17, 2010
Pictured above: Bob Zarco reenacts the triumphant final scene from Rocky V.I kid I kid.Actually he was just explaining how promoters turn boxers into "brands":"What Don King did with Mr. Mayorga was create a brand, and what the court did today is keep another promoter from stealing that brand," said Robert Zarco, one of the attorneys...

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