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#Madoff Unit Trading Egypt Derivatives at JP Morgan

From: Bernie
To: Jamie

Stop kvetching and stop worrying about the Dodd-Frank issues; you loved my idea last week to set up a desk to trade Egypt bonds and futures contracts...and now my people tell me that you've been making book in $5B, $10B, and even $50 billion bets on which way, and when the wind is going to blow over their.

The beauty is that this f**king market is trading in real-time, 24/7. Its like the S&P futures on steroids! And, its trading tens of billions every hour!  You haven't made these kinds of spreads since you were trading Enron bonds! So why complain?

Yeah, I know, the f*ck of it is, these new "financial reform regs" can't let you leverage more than 25:1, and as it is, when you have to report Q1 positions six months from now, they're going to find you had over $700 billion in Egypt bets on your books. blah blah blah. So what?? The Squid's trading desk has the same exposure to Egypt as you do, but since they managed to stack the deck over at Mary's place, who do you think is going to make an issue out of it? 

And, this crap that Irv P. is tossing around about your having 'constructive knowledge' doesn't have to mean that you were "deliberately ignorant"! Deliberate maybe, but only a schmuck would call you "ignorant"!

Trust me--you're going to end up being a hero...just make sure all of the trades clear! And, btw--since I gave you the idea, it would be nice if you could put my son Andy on the desk. He might not have a clue which way the market is going, but he's a good flow trader..Don't tell him I said so, he's still pissed off at me for some stupid reason.

Next: You can squash that idea about doing a take under of the Mets. Aside from having to change all of that damn signage that Citi has over at Shea, I'm hearing Norm Levy's people have already told Cuomo that their brokering a deal for that Russian kid that owns the Nets; he's going to put in a bid tonight. Fred's no dummy, he's going to hit the bid, or he's going to become road kill.

Next: I also know that Donald Trump is going to ask you to up his credit line so that he can fund his wacky campaign to run for President. Bad idea--the first thing he says he's going to do is declare war on China. That's so he can buy steel and sheet rock at a better price. That idiot Cheney had the same idea about oil and Iraq, and look where that's gotten us! Oy!

Last: Since I've made you the power mogul, tell those idiots in Washington that are visiting this blog every day to pay attention; my pal Jon Pollack says that Bin Laden isn't our problem, its that lunatic Awlaki that's playing backgammon in Yemen that needs to be dk'd. And, while we're on the topic, you should tell them that those f*cking loonies always strike on anniversaries. It'll be ten years this coming September. You can save the damn day if you get smart and start freezing accounts!

Bernie



 

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on February 11, 2011 (boomark / email).