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Hollywood

By "Daisy Duke"

There is a movie with a very, very famous set of actors and actresses filming on my block this week. When I say filming on my block I mean right in front of my damn apartment. I can't tell you which movie or actors in case, say, some internet-weirdo does some research and finds where I live and shows up and hacks me into bits for saying something they didn't "agree" with, but um, in the meantime, think big. Think realllly big.

You might think this is exciting.

I disagree.

First they set up signs allowing no parking for three square blocks for one week. No big deal you say? Other than the fact that my neighborhood in the Big City is easily the toughest place in the city to park. We are talking thousands of young yuppies, professionals, bohemians and the like living in all sorts of art-deco, high-rise and brownstone apartments and exactly zero parking structures. So we all fight over the street parking, of which there is little. BISMOW's car doesn't get to come visit this week, it is just going to stay at his house. We decided this after realizing on a normal day it can take up to 45 minutes to find a parking spot, now with all these spots missing it could take quite a bit longer. So no car this week. Frustration nation.

Then they (they being the motion picture studio) informed us that they will be filming from 6 pm to 6 am, and it will be mostly gunshot & action sequences. I look forward to feeling like I'm sleeping in Compton for a few nights. Have I mentioned I'm a light sleeper?

The last straw was last night when they put a notice under my door informing me that the front of my building will be the backdrop for most of the filming (from 6 pm to 6 am) and if our unit faces East (ooh! lucky me! mine does!) we need to raise all of our blinds & curtains and leave our lights on. All. Night. Long.

I might add that the notice did not contain the signatures of the big famous actors in the film, movie tickets to see the movie, a promise of a meet & greet, or, even, more annoyingly, acknowledgement that sleeping with the lights on, with no blinds, during gunshot sequences might be a tad bit intrusive & frustrating. They did however provide a number to call with questions or complaints. A number, interestingly enough, that has no one to answer on the other end.

And so, you famous actors, I officially shun you. And your stupid motion picture studio.
And, because I'm spitefully, I fully plan on ruining your movie because I am not, I repeat, NOT leaving my blinds up. And because you are setting up floodlights to shine into my apartment all night long while I try to sleep, I plan on tacking a large heavy blanket over my window so I can sleep.

Take that Hollywood. Take that.

Full post as published by Legally Blonde Ambition on March 27, 2008 (boomark / email).