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When I Grow Up

I'm getting sworn in as an attorney in Useless State tomorrow morning, and then on Thursday I'm getting sworn in as a Deputy DA. I can't believe it's already been 3 years since I started trying to figure out exactly how to read a case, how to prepare for law school classes, and how to outline, at the time it seemed like the end of law school was light years away. I don't think I ever really did figure out how to prepare for class or outline effectively. But luckily I did figure out how to read cases.

Every time I pause to think about everything that's happened, how life has seemingly fallen into place, I am simply stunned. I found myself at my ballet studio last night examining the hundreds of photos from past performances that adorn the walls and it felt like those performances, some of them almost 15 years ago, happened only yesterday. It was surreal to stand there, a woman of 25 about to become a lawyer, examining the girl who wasn't even a freshman in high school wearing a stunning royal blue tutu who didn't have an answer to the question "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Today Trivia Boy stopped by my office to wish me congrats and to apologize for not being able to attend the swearing in ceremony on Thursday (he unfortunately didn't pass the barzam but is still going to be able to stay on as an intern with the office while he tries it again in Feb). I was bemoaning the fact that my supervisor thought I should call my mom and have her go with me to get sworn in at the attorney registration office tomorrow morning. Frankly I don't think any of the swearing in stuff is something to make a big fuss about, but tomorrow's swearing in consists of nothing more than filling out a few forms, paying my fee and signing the oath. There is absolutely no reason that anyone needs to go with me for that. Trivia Boy was supposed to agree that I didn't need to make a big production out of it, he never makes a big deal out of anything and I knew he would understand why I didn't want to make a big deal out of this. But instead he sided with my boss. He commented that tomorrow is kind of a big deal because tomorrow I officially become an adult with a career and a professional license. I'm no longer a student, I'm no longer a 20 something on the path to a goal, no longer searching for an answer to the "what do you want to be when you grown up" question, but rather an adult with an office, business cards, and a title. For some reason, as soon as he said that, I wanted absolutely nothing more than to be the 14 year old in the stunning royal blue tutu.

And so I picked up the phone and called my parents to invite them to the swearing in. Because as much as I hate to admit it, Trivia Boy is right, getting sworn in for the very first time is kind of a big deal and I might regret it later if my parents aren't there to share it.

Full post as published by [ Useless Dicta ] on October 14, 2009 (boomark / email).