Family Law

Most preventable mental disorder in children is Divorce-related trauma

By Gregory Ramey

Divorced parents simply have no appreciation of the trauma they cause their children, most of which is totally preventable. Yes, divorce is difficult for kids, but they can successfully deal with it if they have parents who love them more than they dislike their ex-spouse.

Parents underestimate what their children feel, think and experience about the divorce process. Kids really do pick up on your subtle sarcasm, rolling of the eyes, abrupt style and frequent put downs of your ex-spouse. Why do divorced parents behave in such a terrible manner? I’ve asked that question many times to parents in my office, and I typically get a litany of the many real and perceived hurts inflicted by the ex-spouse. Bad behavior by one parent doesn’t justify retribution by the other.

Here’s what a 10-year told me recently. “They think I don’t know stuff they say about each other but I do. It hurts. It hurts a lot!”

[Reprinted by permission from the Dec. 30 edition of the Dayton Daily News, “Thoughts on children drawn from past year”, Family Wise, Gregory Ramey, PH.D.]

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Full post as published by Ohio Family Law Blog on January 08, 2008 (boomark / email).