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Legal Writing

: Set in Style

Why Attorney/Authors Need Editors

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I’m reviewing an attorney-authored article — “In Re Bilski and Its Impact on Business Method Patents”

Here’s the intro:

C-Ulrich intro original

The big problem with the intro is this — the reference to State Street Bank.

Why is that reference a problem?

For one thing, it’s a new topic, so it needs a new paragraph.

More than that, it throws the reader a curve. Which decision has 132 pages — In Re Bilski or State Street Bank? 

An editor might delete the reference to State Street Bank, or set it as a footnote. But more is needed.

Consider this revised intro:

c-ulrich intro revised

It contains less than half as many words as the original. Gone, for example, is the conclusion to the intro, since it isn’t of interest to potential clients — an audience of “patent holders and applicants.”

____________
Be as concise as can be, because your audience consists of busy people who value their time (and expect you to value it, too). And speak directly to them (patent holders and applicants, if that’s who you’re addressing). Don’t bring up asides that might be important to people who might care about “setting a strategy for an environment.”

If you’re too busy to do that on your own, engage a skilled and experienced editor (hint, hint).

Full post as published by Set in Style on June 25, 2009 (boomark / email).

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