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Franks, Beans, and Suing Ham Sandwiches

To :Mikey Beans-
From: Bernie

Hey--for a guy that says "Easy Peasy"..me calling you "Mikey Beans", the name we used back in the old days-- isn't such a big deal. Beans, Bee-enes--...whatever..

So, I'm thinking..what with all of these ham sandwiches so busy suing the other ham sandwiches, and Tannenbaum's shop getting more profits from their criminal defense practice than their corporate law group--all thanks to some of the other fellas---well, I'm thinking about Frank and Beans--the friends that I started out with from the very beginning..Frankie Avellino and Mikey Beans--and then I'm thinking about that recipe--the pea soup and franks recipe.

I had something like that for dinner last night here. But Mikey, it didn't come close to tasting as good as that recipe you gave to Ruthie 30 years ago. Remember that night? I do. No, actually I don't. I'm guessing that you forgot it too. Right?

For God's sake.. Barney Fife or Frank, whatever...he can't remember his own name anymore, no less how much money he printed for Dimon's shop back in December--so I wouldn't think that you'd really remember that night from 30 years ago!.

But, I remembered the recipe! Just like some of the other recipes that we came up! Its at the bottom of this blog..so keep reading and scroll down. I'm having Ruth put it into the recipe section of her new book...Madoff's Guide on How To Survive on $15k A Month. ...

And speaking of that kid Dimon---the great thing about MCC is that we can surf the internet every day...and I almost had to order another case of Madoff Pisher Pads after I read this:

"We had almost nothing to do with" convicted Ponzi-scheme operator Bernard Madoff, Mr. Dimon told shareholders. "This isn't to say there aren't a few questions that our legal team isn't working around the clock to figure out how to answer..but "almost nothing" is the phrase that Starkman says works best at the moment.."

And, asked whether J.P. Morgan Chase would go "the route of Citi, getting rid of your private planes," Mr. Dimon said the bank would keep its four jets. "They are heavily used for business purposes. My wife and I occasionally use them for private purposes," he said."And, I'm even using some of that TARP money to buy out Talon's paper on Bernie Madoff's jet..Is that something that can get you hard, or what??

Explained Dimon, "Picard got hit with almost a $100k in bills and liens for keeping that baby ready for wheels up...so we offered Picard a lower interest rate on his credit card balance, and as Mikey Beans says "It was easy peasey!"

So Mikey, you can only imagine me actually reaching for the defib next to my bed..the one that Ruthie's in by herself.. when I read the hysterical comments this kid Dimon is making. Don Rickles could never have been that funny..and I'm thinking that Jamie needs to hire that Pulitizer Winner, Paul Szep to do a portrait for him!

But, when it comes to crap--all I can say is "Ezra--I told you that all that crap you were buying, and all of that big shot, show off stuff was going to come back and bite you in the ass. So now look, first GM goes in to the crapper, and then your job running that GM finance business goes in to the crapper, and now you even got yourself fired from your own firm! Oy!

Do you think that Pete, or anyone else in my firm could fire me?? Of course not!

OK...So back to the recipe..sure everyone's laughing about my darling and her cooking books, and everyone's laughing about the cake that Abby and the boys here made for my sweetheart's birthday, but nobody is going to laugh when they taste how delicious this recipe is..especially some of those yutz's in Boca that are trying to figure out where they should spend the summer now that they've sold their places in New York for pennies.

I even had Frankie D. endorse this recipe..No, he doesn't know from pea soup with franks, but he knows about Franks..and he's been very frank...when it comes to saying the right thing...

Yellow Split Pea And Frankfurter Soup

TOTAL TIME:

Ingredients

1 onion, peeled and cut into chunks

1 carrot, peeled and cut into chunks

1 stalk celery, cut into chunks

1 clove garlic, peeled

2 to 3 tablespoons vegetable oil

1/2 teaspoon ground mace

2 1/4 cups (1 pound) yellow split peas, rinsed

4 cups chicken or vegetable stock (may be made from concentrate), more as needed

2 bay leaves

Approximately 8 frankfurters, cut into 1-inch pieces

Preparation

1.In a food processor, combine onion, carrot, celery and garlic. Process until finely chopped.

2.Place a heavy, wide saucepan over medium heat, and add oil. When hot, add chopped vegetables, and sauté until soft but not colored, 5 to 10 minutes. Stir in mace. Add split peas, and stir to mix well.

3.Add 4 cups stock and the bay leaves, and bring to a boil. Cover, and reduce heat to low. Simmer until peas are very soft, about 1 hour. Stir soup with a wooden spoon. If desired, adjust thickness of soup with additional stock.

So if you got this far, you want to know how long to cook this for, right? Ask Me A Question--scroll to the right...but I'm thinking it would be nice if you left a gratuity here, too. Listen..lots of people want me to give them a return..but if you want me to help you...well...you should be doing the right thing..

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on May 20, 2009 (boomark / email).