Family Law

San Jose Divorce Attorney Discusses Fears of Divorce

By Scott Sagaria

San Jose Divorce Attorney Discusses Fears of Divorce

Divorce is a tough time for everyone that has to go through it. Although most people will come out stronger and better off than staying in an awful marriage, a little mental divorce preparation never hurt anyone. Bruce Derman, Ph.D. and Wendy Gregson, MS give us three different circumstances for why couples may want to get divorced and to overcome the fears of divorce.

The first situation is you want the divorce, but I am not sure if it is the right decision. Since going through a divorce affects the lives of your children as well as your lifestyle, economics, and marital investment, the pressure to make the "perfectly correct" decision is enormous. Unfortunately, there are no guarantees. The best-case scenario is to make a decision that is not emotionally based, nor driven by your ego.

The second situation is when you do not want the divorce, but your spouse does. Being in this situation place will leave you feeling out of control and a helpless victim. You will experience intense emotional devastation, as your life will be changing before your eyes without you having any say in the outcome. In addressing this dilemma, you need to ask yourself if you are clinging to staying on familiar, safe ground and to a marriage based on illusions. It is not easy to acknowledge and confront the problems in a marriage, when you are feeling so hurt by your partner.

The third situation is when only you want this divorce because your marriage is not working. If this is your dilemma, then you will want to avoid responsibility at all costs by seeing your partner to blame for the downfall of the marriage. There will be tremendous preoccupation and anger about how your partner caused you to make this decision. The amount of noise generated from this blaming will be in direct proportion to your unwillingness to risk expressing any of your own fears and sadness. If this doesn't occur, the divorce proceedings to follow will be riddled with tension and conflict, and a continuation of the blaming.

Here at Sagaria Law, we offer a full range of family law and legal services including divorce, paternity, adoption, child custody and visitation matters, child support, spousal support, alimony, juvenile dependency, domestic violence, division of property, grandparent visitation and custody, etc. We have seven Northern California locations including San Jose, San Francisco, Redwood City, Fremont, Salinas, Roseville and Sacramento. We offer a free thirty minute consultation, either in person at any of our offices, or over the phone. Call our offices today and we can connect you with an attorney immediately or we can schedule your free consultation with one of our family law attorneys: (408) 279-2288 or (800) 941-6730 or visit www.sagarialaw.com

Full post as published by California Family Law Blog on May 12, 2009 (boomark / email).