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Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

Don't Ask Don't Tell and Don't Watch

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Sure, you all came by yesterday to visit me and what happened? Did I disappoint you people at "SEC"?? Or my favorite fans at Stone Point??

So what can I say, but I'm sorry..I was too busy sending out account statements for the Soapopular stock purchases!!

Well, like I always say--forgive and forget the disappointments. Our wonderful President does this every day, God bless him! Of course I voted for him! Twice! Once in the Florida mail-in-your-vote program, and once from the Cohmad Securities NY resident account.

But smarty pants Eleanor didn't tell that story to Vanity Fair, did she? Of course not!. Poor Eleanor is whoring herself to the muckrakers because she doesn't have any other skills--all she's ever known is how to make appointments for me. That's it. Nothing else. At $250k a year!!

So now that she can't figure out how to live on less than $15k a month, she's selling tricks. Tricks as in "trick or treat". She tricked VF into believing that garbage and she got a small treat as the prize. How much Eleanor, $2k?? Maybe $5k?? Oy.

Exactly why Ruthie is almost finished writing Madoff's Guide on How To Live on Less Than $15k a Month! But you know about this book, because I announced it exactly five months ago, right here--just like I announced a few other things that the media morons and the idiot clawyers are just beginning to figure out.

Speaking of tricks, you gotta love Sandy's appearance. She's got bigger balls than her kid with the golf ball business. Actually I love that boy, Madoff's Little Manzke, and I love his balls..but that idiot at PBCC still hasn't paid the invoice.

Andrew and Mark--take a note and learn something else from your father--don't extend credit to anyone!! Ever!

Anyway, Sandy and Frankie Beans and a bunch of others are thinking that if they appear on TV, somehow people won't bother asking how much they really made from Midas--and how they paid for all of those things over all those years.

Sure, its not like either of them were the Chairman of the NY Fed and the head of Goldman Sachs at the same time, which some people think is a conflict, but Sandy--and Frankie--and while I'm at it--some of you others that like to talk to much--you're not helping yourselves get to the head of the hardship line at Nose Picker Picard's office.

Sure, you haven't gotten back those SIPC refunds yet..that's because you're talking too much! You think Walter's wife has gotten back her SIPC refund?? Of course not! Or Sonny Cohn's wife? Or Sonny Delaire's wife?? Well, that's actually because none of them were investors, they were all just living off my teet. But, who do you know with a big mouth that's gotten any refund from Picard's office. Who do you know thats gotten any refund at all??

So go ahead and get your popcorn out. But at least be a mensch when you tune in to PBS and send them a contribution. I always did every time I watched one of those telethons with Jerry's Kids.

Ruth...You did send them those checks, right sweetheart? Double check with Eleanor on that.

Oh about this clip..some fancy clawyer might have figured out that Sweet Sandy here got a bunch of money sent back to her right before we closed. But maybe nobody figured that out yet?

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on May 12, 2009 (boomark / email).

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