Law Humor

Pass More Pleas, Please

I can only say Thank-G-d that we never hired any idiots from the media industry to work on our trading desk.

When it comes to speculating, all of the morons at NBC, FoxNews, CNN, and the rest of those other skanks make the mortgage traders at Bear Stearns, Lehman and Merrill look like they were f--king rock stars! Even the people trading bonds at AIG could speculate smarter!

Christ-Almighty! 9 out of 10 "news" outlets are just fucking printing the same things that Bloomberg is writing--and Bloomberg's people can't guess any better on legal strategies than Larry Kudlow or f--king Donny Douche can when it comes to the direction of the market!

If the only thing you people know how to do is make stuff up and print it, stop by the 17th floor on Monday, and maybe Andy or Mark can find something to keep you busy! Don't worry, we've got plenty of printer cartridges.

There are only two real news people that "get it"- little Janey Wells, and my buddy Stanley Bing over at Fortune. Sure, they might be making some commissions on the side for referring new people here, but its not like they're doing anything "wrong".

And, the only other reporter that knows how to ask the right questions is that Erin Arvedlund.

Those people get exclusives. So, if want some news about pleas--the scoop for the rest of you is that they're green. Otherwise, you can come back here over the weekend, or maybe next week to see if I've got something to say.

In the mean time, Ruth and me, and the kids are ordering in from The Palm tonight.

Next- Tim Geithner--I keep telling you people that you need a smart HR guy to vet the job candidates down there in DC! And is anybody listening??? No!!! More people that don't want to listen! How many people does it take to drop out after you announce you're hiring them before you learn how to do it right??

Call that guy Murphy.. He'll charge a lot less than "Mitre" charged the SEC for telling them how to set up a call center for whistle blowers.

Last--Raoul Felder, whatever you think you're hearing is wrong, so stop stalking outside the f--king building!!

OY!---Ruth--get the defib plugged in!!!

BLM

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on March 06, 2009 (boomark / email).