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Dealing with the collateral damage Divorce

I want to share More magazine's Divorce's collateral damage. I have tried to point out the inability of the law to reach the underlying problems in a divorce and here is an other example. I do not know many lawyers capable of dealing with the emotional problems created by fractious personal relations:

"Jan Schloss, a social worker, certified parenting coach and family mediator, often discusses with her clients the issues related to the loss of these relationships.

There are different ways to look at it, says Schloss. These are loyalty issues, where many privately consider, 'Who am I going to side with, and how can I be friends with both?'

One of the suggestions she makes to clients when confronting the loss is to 'redefine who you are and how you would like to be in this new phase of your life.' And for those that think there may be a possibility of maintaining a relationship, Schloss says, 'Remember, you are not divorcing your in-laws or extended family that you loved and felt clearly connected.'"

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Here are the top 5 things to consider when coming to terms with the loss of these relationships.:

You don't have to grin and bear it alone

Find strength from other relationships

Redefine who you are

Eliminate negativity

Put your children's best interest first

Full post as published by Sam Hasler's Indiana Divorce & Family Law Blog on February 08, 2009 (boomark / email).