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: Legally Blonde Ambition

Stolen Lines # 1

By "Daisy Duke"

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I tried to think of the right answer. Unable to think of that, I spoke anyway.

"Of course I want you to be happy. It is just that you make me happy. Don't you want me to be happy?"

It didn't matter. It was over. We were over.

The relationship had begun quickly, we'd met our first night of our sophomore year of college. He'd scrawled my number down on the back of a Tulane pennant, hastily given to him over the phone by one of my sorority sisters & roommates. I'd find that pennant over a year later, with my name spelled wrong & my cell phone number written down next to it. "How odd" I thought,"He spelled my name wrong."

We went out, we started dating, things got serious. For awhile we liked each other, even loved each other, but then at about the one year mark, we were only together because it was comfortable. We didn't talk about it at the time, but it was the truth.

I'd be walking down the broken uneven sidewalks that define the New Orleans topography and think to myself how exciting it would be to meet a new guy. I would quickly push that thought away, feeling guilty, thinking, not of our relationship but how sad our parents would be, or how it would ruin the group of us that hung out together, or how it would leave me dateless at the next sorority function. Not the things one should hang on to in a relationship, but alas, I did.

He broke up with me during the summer before our senior year, over the phone, from the hotel pool in Las Vegas. He was there with his cousin, probably with plans to play blackjack & eat steak in the next hour, while I sat on the floor of my hip apartment in Dallas, listening to the crowds below, the street music, sobbing. I eventually moved to my walk in closet, lying among my pumps & my flip flops, nestled into a pile of clean towels, tears & snot pouring down my face, creating another load of laundry when it was all over. This was painful. Raw. I hated him. I wanted him back. I wanted to pummel him to make him hurt as much as I hurt.

But he wanted to be happy and I didn't make him happy anymore. We, together, as a couple, were defective & broken.

I thought I'd never get over it.

I couldn't have been more wrong.

* * *

Going back to school for my senior year without him felt empty for about two days. Then I embraced the fact that this was it, my last year in college, and I proceeded to have the time of my life. When I graduated I moved, by myself, to Chicago. I didn't know anyone, save his family out the suburbs and I was scared and unsure of myself. I dealt with my apartment flooding (twice) on my own, I carried my own groceries in a snowstorm & learned to cook for one. I bought my first tv and did only my laundry, not a pair of boxer shorts or stinky man t-shirts to be found. I attended law school, found jobs, learned the transportation system. Eventually I realized that I could do it on my own. I didn't need him. I didn't need his help, I was capable & competent. And finally, once that jagged hold in my heart healed neatly, leaving nothing behind but a few bittersweet memories, I was introduced to a guy. In a lounge, some 3 and a half after that painful phone conversation.

"Hey Daisy, meet my friend..... you two are the preppiest people I know."

Afterwards, my friend turned to me. "What do you think of him?"

I tried to think of the right answer. Unable to think of that, I spoke anyway.

"He's cute. I'd never kiss him though."

Deep down I knew it was the wrong answer. Almost a year later, we shared our first kiss on a sailboat underneath fireworks & never looked back. He is my right answer.

* * *

The first 2 sentences and its repetitions are stolen from Night of the Avenging Blowfish by John Welter. It's part of Grace's Blog Experiment. And yes, the second he is BISMOW.

Full post as published by Legally Blonde Ambition on January 13, 2009 (boomark / email).