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: Bernard Madoff

Enough already! I Gave My Kids Gifts, So What?! It was Innocent!!

Let's put this ridiculous topic to rest; Ruth and I sent our kids, and a special friend, and our housekeeper some personal items as gifts for the holidays. I admit it. A bunch of old watches and some diamond jewelry that had nothing more than sentimental value.

Mr. Prosecutor says I was trying to hide assets and the stuff is worth a million bucks. Bullshit! In this market?? Not a chance!

Didn't anyone see the article in New York Magazine that talked about the truckloads of heirlooms that are being dumped on the doors of those goniff pawn brokers in the diamond district?? You think those guys are paying more than twenty five cents on the dollar??! Of course not! The stuff I sent to Andrew, Mark, their lovely wives, and Sonny couldn't fetch more than 200k, 300k tops; which is irrelevant because they were intended to be keepsakes, not some stupid way of "hiding assets". Do you really think my kids or my friends need to hock Rolex watches?? They've all got enough for two lifetimes already!

These were P-E-R-S-O-N-A-L items!! For f--k sake. Ruth, am I the only one that's crazy??! I am?? Good. Ira-make a note of that. Ruth says I'm crazy too.

And by the way, for those of you that need to sell stuff before we open the MIDAS fund, there's a guy out in Ohio that's paying top dollar for estate jewelry. Not a gonniff like the pimps in NY. His name is Stafford. I don't know him, and I haven't talked to him. I'm only mentioning him because I hear some of my friends at Boca Rio and Glen Oaks wanted an objective opinion for a change. Click on the link on the left menu bar for more info. Don't take my word for it. Check him out yourself. He's probably a lot better than selling to an auction house or some sleezy dealer that's going to mark you down 75%.

Second topic; another hack journalist at Fortune thinks I've got between 40 mil and 80 mil stashed away. And, some smart alecky former FBI genius thinks I've hidden 50 mil. You're both wrong. That's total bullshit. Should I send everyone account statements???

Next; the crap about Bob Jaffe being connected to Boston mobsters. What the f--k would I know about that?? He was a bucket shop broker before I ever heard of him. If he didn't have the brains to have married Carl's daughter, trust me, I would have never had anything to do with him. And mobsters from Boston?? Don't make me laugh. Ask Sonja about real mobsters...the Russian kind!

Finally, if you haven't read the news, there's more than $1 bil of cash at BMIS. So everyone that's whining about "where'd the money go???" should stop the kvething already. There's plenty to go back to the people that submit legitimate claims. But keep in mind, did it occur to anyone that whatever the "trustee" is saying about how much they found is bullshit? Like--maybe everyone knows there's a lot more money?? I never said there wasn't.

OK, so you think that last statement makes me crazy, right? Good. Ira..take a note of that. And by the way, Ira. how come nobody is asking about how much I put up front for your retainer?? Gee..you'd think that should be frozen too, right? Ira--set them straight on all that, before everyone is certifiable. Thank you.

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on January 07, 2009 (boomark / email).