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Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

Announcing The Madoff-backed MIDAS Fund (Madoff Investor Distressed Asset Sale)

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After speaking with Henry Kaufman last week, and after reading the silly comments made by Barton Biggs (the guy with the best 20-20 hindsight on Wall Street, and someone who missed the entire bull market!), the Madoff family thinks it only appropriate to be the first to help create a new fund that will be purchasing distressed assets from those that purchased second homes, cars, jewels and artwork with the profits we distributed over the past many years.

We're in the process of recruiting specialists for each asset category, but Ruth has already pledged to invest $2 million, and my sons will put in $2 mil each (they've got plenty at Neuberger!), my brother Peter will put in $3 mil and my adorable niece Shana and her shagetz husband John will anty up $1 mil.

I'm expecting the Noels in Greenwich will want to put up some seed capital too, and they'll probably be given first look at any trophy properties...I hear that their girls are keen on San Diego right now, so for the investors in the LA area--we'll probably be able to help you liquidate some beach front homes in the next month... All of this is great news for everyone, and right off the bat, we have $10mil hard cold cash committed, and after speaking to several long time investors, we've got another $200 million that's ready to be put to work.

The registration statements for the fund are being filed by Ira next week and more info will come out in the days ahead. Ruth and I are having dinner with Ira, his wife, Sonny Cohn and his wife tonight at Cipollini in Manhasset to discuss the details....by the way, this is a very nice place, and its owned by the same boys that own Bryant and Cooper! Its located in the back of the Miracle Mile Shopping Center, and thank God we'll be getting there after the shops are closed, Ruth is going out of her mind with shopping these days...and at $3000 a day for the security guards, I'm trying to explain to her that we are in a recession...But I love her..so what can you do??

And for those wondering about the silly travel restrictions, yes I am allowed to travel to visit with my attorneys, and since Ira lives in Roslyn, just down the street from Cipollini, we thought it would be a good opportunity to get out on a Saturday night and stretch the legs.

By the way, for those of you that don't know it, these little plastic ankle bracelets are actually very comfortable. You don't even notice that you have them on! I've recommended that they make them in designer colors, so they can be worn on the outside, which makes it a great dual purpose device when riding bikes and not wanting to get your pants leg dirty.

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on January 03, 2009 (boomark / email).

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