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Dear People Who Decide If I Get To Be A Lawyer

By "Daisy Duke"

I have in fact received your request that I authorize a criminal background check with the City of New Orleans. I appreciate I also don't have to pay the "background check fee" that the City charges. Apparently the $9000 I gave you (give or take) covers such things- who would have guessed?

This background check will be really fun. First off, I hope you are aware that the office in New Orleans (the Department of Records if you will) is open M-W-F from 11 am to 1 pm. I keep applying for a job there, but alas, they are not hiring.

Second, I hope that you noticed when I lived in New Orleans. I'm sure you are aware of a little thing we called "Hurricane Katrina." Therefore, I sincerely hope you do not penalize me when my records come up ambiguous because I have no records because well, you know, that whole "entire city flooding thing" was really tough on the record keeping.

Finally, thanks for only doing a criminal background check in one of the 15 cities I've lived in. I'm sure picking New Orleans was completely random. Mmmhmm. Luckily for you I've never been in any sort of criminal trouble, New Orleans or otherwise, but I appreciate you double checking all the information I have already given you.

Love, Hugs, Kisses & Kindest Regards,

Daisy Duke

Full post as published by Legally Blonde Ambition on June 06, 2008 (boomark / email).