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Capitol Hill Comedians

By Christopher Annunziata

I don’t typically stray into politics, but I saw this piece among my morning reading and found some of the answers quite funny. Political website The Hill sent a reporter to ask - the 97 Senators who aren’t running for President whether they would like to be Vice President. I thought it was an interesting take on the “man on the street” questions you tend to see in small town newspapers (or The Onion). Most of the answers were variations on: “I’d be flattered,” “I don’t want to be presumptious”, “I would definitely consider it an honor,” or “I’m proud to represent the people from the great State of Apathy blah…blah…blah.”

Some of the Senators actually have a sense of humor though:

Sen. Bob Bennett (R-Utah)
?Of course. Big house, big car, not much to do. Why not??

Sen. Robert Byrd (D-W.Va.)
?I do not enjoy spending a lot of time at ?undisclosed locations.? ?

Sen. Maria Cantwell (D-Wash.)
?Does that include any sports picks or anything like that?”

Sen. Tom Carper (D-Del.)
?Yes. Sign me up. I?ve been kidding people for years: The hours are better, the wages are just as good ? whoever heard of a vice president getting shot at? ? and it?s a great opportunity to travel.”

Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho)
?I would say ?No, Hillary.? ? [Ed. Note - He shouldn't scoff - he needs a job]

Sen. Judd Gregg (R-N.H.)
?No. I don?t like going to funerals.? - [Ed. note This was my favorite.]

Sen. Daniel Inouye (D-Hawaii)
?If I were asked, I would say, ?You?re out of your mind.? ?

Sen. Edward Kennedy (D-Mass.)
?I plan to stick with my current job until I get the hang of it.? [Ed. Note - I won't swing at the softball Teddy Boy just pitched]

Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.)
?I already have the T-shirt.”

Sen. Lisa Murkowski (R-Alaska)
?My 16-year-old thinks it?s a fabulous idea because he thinks we probably couldn?t find any better residence in Washington, D.C., than the Naval Observatory.”

Sen. Pat Roberts (R-Kan.)
?No. I don?t cut ribbons well or give eulogies at funerals.?

Sen. Roger Wicker (R-Miss.)
?The chances of that are so remote that I?m more likely to be hit by an asteroid.?

Sen. Ron Wyden (D-Ore.)
?I have a unique perspective on this. I am the only senator to have announced I am not running for president because there should be someone here to serve as the Senate?s designated driver. ?

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Full post as published by CKA Mediation and Arbitration Services Blog on May 15, 2008 (boomark / email).