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How to Get Precisely What You Want, Even From Beyond the Grave

The FCC has taken away my license for being able to describe myself as a ranter-against-the-bad-things-companies-do (hence me having to change the masthead description), since I haven't been doing it enough, mostly because I was beginning to sound like a broken record, even to myself. "Big company X is bad. The CEO is a greedy crook." Big surprise, sparky. -yawn-

Kenny "Fucking Bastard Shithead" Lay, however continues to piss me off, even from beyond the grave. So I'm going to put the needle back on that broken record one more time, and sound like a nutcase conspiracy theorist, to boot!

If you didn't hear, Lay's conviction got posthumously abated yesterday, saving his estate over 40 million dollars. I don't pretend to know anything about trying to convict a dead guy, but I imagine there's some sort of 6th amendment confrontation clause issue in play. You can't exactly confront your accuser from six feet under. And while I think the estate should have no problem with bringing the appeal without the corpse in court, I don't necessarily disagree with the ruling. But I am pissed off at Kenny because it looks to me like he got precisely what he was aiming for.

Think about it. Already convicted, but not yet sentenced, with only the prospect of jailtime and having all his riches taken away by the government or countless eventual plaintiffs he'd screwed, Kenny finds some clever way to commit suicide. Utter dishonor and looming bankruptcy seems like enough to make such a vain powermonger think about Seppuku, I should think. There must be some crazy untraceable drug out there that could produce a heart attack, and Kenny surely had the means to buy it on the black market. He saved his family a gihugeous pile of money (at least until the civil trials start, and end). Is it so unthinkable that the extraordinary timing of his death is more than coincidence? I'm not the only one who thinks so, apparently. (Oh, how I love aligning myself with Wikipedia crazies!)

Frickin' Jerk.

Full post as published by The Mighty Argos on October 18, 2006 (boomark / email).