Legal Commentary

Stupid Is As Stupid Does

This guy sounds like the punch line to a Dennis Miller joke: "Hey, moron! Charles Darwin says 'Hello'."

Lance Coleman of Racine, Wis., tried to steal $47,000 worth of Dell equipment by impersonating Robert Greenberg, CEO of the shoe company Skechers. His undoing: A series of stupid mistakes, including repeatedly misspelling Greenberg?s name, according to the Racine Journal Times.

In December, Coleman called the Dell account manager who works with Skechers, introduced himself as Greenberg, and presented the correct tax ID number for Skechers. Coleman ordered four desktop computers, four laptops and three 50? televisions. He then told the account manager that the $1.4 billion company was moving its headquarters from California to an apartment in Racine, according to an affidavit filed by the FBI agent who investigated the case.

The account manager was suspicious for reasons in addition to a move that defied logic: Coleman misspelled both Greenberg?s and the company?s names, and he gave his email address as vertexpharminc@att.net. The account manager alerted Skechers and the FBI, who quickly learned that the Racine address was Coleman?s residence.

Several days later Coleman left three voice mails for the account manager, identifying himself in one as Robert Goldberg. In early January he emailed a purchase order to Dell ? signed Rob G. ? and a few days later and FBI agent, dressed as a delivery man, handed Coleman a package from Dell. Coleman was arrested after signing the name Robert Greenberg. He pleaded guilty to scheming to defraud using the telephone and Internet on Wednesday.

Attempts to reach Coleman were unsuccessful. His lawyer did not respond to a phone message and an email seeking comment.

He probably has tried to respond to the phone message, but has been shouting into the ear piece.

Any lawyer taking up this guy's defense might want to try getting a retainer paid up front, in cash. Keeping this clown out of the slammer is going to be an uphill battle.

Full post as published by Counseling Kevin on April 18, 2008 (boomark / email).