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: A Public Defender's Life in Alaska

So, happy birthday to my number one girl! Wow. Three years since you came into my life and changed it forever. And what a little lady you have become. The way you insist on wearing your rubber boots and pajamas to help me get eggs. The way you climb onto the boat and use the binoculars to look for bears because "brown bears mess me up". The way you look when you are sleeping. The way you know exactly how to break my heart.

The way you have to help me do everything, even though sometimes you cause more damage than you mean to. The way sometimes you don't love me because I am a "boy". Sometimes I remember what it was like to be single. To not have you in my life. Sometimes, when the bills are piled up and your mom and I are scrapping, I say "never marry and never have children". But I don't mean it. You are why I work. Why I fight so hard for my clients. Why I believe that my life and my work have value. I could probably make more money doing something else but I want you and your sister to be free. To be free to live your life free and happy. The way you want to. You are why I am here and I hope that one day, when you read this, you will know that I will do everything I can for you. I cannot believe you are three. In another blink of the eye you will be gone. My work will be done. I cannot even imagine how much I will miss you. The tears will flow when you leave, I know. But for now, I will enjoy every moment I can get with you. You make my heart ache little girl and I love you more than I could ever express in words. If you needed my life it would be yours without hesitation. One day you will understand. There is only one thing I could ever love as much as you:

Full post as published by A Public Defender's Life in Alaska on April 08, 2009 (boomark / email).