Miscellaneous

These stories never cease to amuse me

Adrian, Michigan is where we find Frank Kozumplik.

...Kozumplik? Isn't that the imp from the fifth dimension who fucks with Superman until Supes can trick him into saying his name backwards?

Anyway, Kozumplik loves him some booze. Specifically, wine. And after tossing back two bottles of wine, what's a drunk to do when he needs more wine? Why, hop onto his lawn mower and try to get to the liquor store, that's what.

And Kozumplik did, indeed, get to the booze store. But on his way back, lawn mowing his way through a snowstorm, the cops busted him, four bottles of wine in tow. Kozumplik said he had to take the mower because his wife had the car. Which is a fair point. But that didn't get him out of a DUI arrest anyway.

QuizLaw's crack investigative team has learned the truth behind this story, however. Kozumplik's wife didn't have the car. That was just his cover because he was embarrassed by the truth. Which is that Superman actually stole the car, hoping for this very outcome. He's crafty, that man from Krypton.

Full post as published by Quiz Law on February 05, 2008 (boomark / email).