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Before I left for Utah whenever I went out there about a week ago, Bank of America charged me an overdraft fee that I disagreed with vehemently. Irate I went into a banking location & set up overdraft protection that was hooked to my meager savings account. I chalked up the $35 charge to a lesson learned & went about my way. 

When I was home in Utah my father called a private company that does banking & insurance. (USAA, available to military members & their families.) I have my renters insurance policy with them. My father does our auto insurance policies with them and we both have some banking accounts with them. Anyway, as I am now commuting/driving for work and not taking public transit he wanted to "up" my auto policy. He also put the policy in my name, attached it to my USAA account but paid for the policy over the phone with his credit card. (Thanks Pops!) 

Simple? Simple. 

Except the USAA agent got confused and somehow debited my B of A checking account instead of paying for the policy with my Dad's credit card. This happened I was out running errands before BISMOW & I left for Detroit. And so with a few small charges (less than $20 total) I was overdrawn, big time. Auto insurance isn't cheap people. 

<Argh. Cue exasperation, frustration and a raised voice.>

Irate (becoming a theme...) I called USAA and told them the problem. They informed me they were sorry and would be happy to send me a paper check in the mail in 7-10 business days. An out-of-state check that would take an additional 5 days to clear my Bank of America checking account. 

More irate, I called my Dad (possibly crying) and told him what happened. Mid-sentence he hung up on me and immediately called USAA. Through finagling (read: he knows the CEO) he informed USAA they would wire that money into my account righthisverysecond. And they did. Except it was at 5:00 pm on the Friday of a holiday weekend and so the money didn't go back into my account until this morning. But it is still pending so the money isn't really in there. It is just floating, mine but not touch-able. 

In the meantime? I was charged a $35 overdraft fee three times. For each small purchase under $10. 

 I called USAA and demanded they refund my overdraft charges. After much hold-music and "I'm sorry Ms. Duke" they told me if I printed off a bank statement and sent it to the fax number they would email me they would "review" the statement and determine then if they were going to reimburse me. Except they also forgot to email me the damn fax number. And the direct line to call the correct department, eliminating my need to go through their ten minute long computer answering system. 

Then my fingers just snapped off around my phone. My unfulfilling iPhone that does not allow for a satisfactory slamming of the phone and instead only offers a forceful, stabby touch to the virtual keyboard to "end" the call with no drama or noise. Just an "end" to the call. Sigh.   

I then (irately) called Bank of America and told them while the huge money withdrawal and influx was another bank's problem I was confused because even with my tiny savings account, my overdraft protection should have covered the three charges. They informed me (as I turned purple) that first, the overdraft charges are still "pending" so they can't do anything about them until tomorrow AND, miracle of miracles, the bank agent did not in fact set up my overdraft protection two weeks ago. 

And then? Then I died for real. But not before tearfully telling BISMOW that he needed to give me his checking account number because I wouldn't die without paying off my Macy's credit card, in its entirety. And thus, what should have been a joyful transaction of "woo paid that entire debt off, another one down!" was more like stabby keystrokes followed by me keeling over, dead as a doornail. 

The end. 

 Unless Blogger eats this post again and then I'll send a Tweet out from my unfulfilling iPhone about how my laptop is gone because I THREW IT OUT THE WINDOW AND INTO THE 20 FIRETRUCKS SURROUNDING MY BLOCK BECUASE APPARENTLY SOME CONDO IS ON FIRE AND SERIOUSLY CAN WE END MAYBE 1/2 OF THE SIRENS? But not my building so don't worry my building isn't on fire again. Been there, done that, blogged about it already. NEW MATERIAL. 

Gah. End post. 

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