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: Legally Blonde Ambition

Roger, Roger

By "Daisy Duke"

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I'm going to divert from the usual fodder here and turn to a recent event I'm sure you've heard about- the missing Air France plane that is presumed to be in pieces in the Atlantic Ocean. Some of you might know this but my Dad, Papa Duke is what we call an "experienced aviator." So much so that sometimes, occasionally, companies and governments pay him hundreds of dollars an hour to share his "expert opinion" on things aviation related. Specifically as it relates to flying fighter jets and certain large, mainstream aircraft. His opinion is that for the most part, when you get into an airplane an ex-military officer is going to confidently and safely fly you from point A to point B. He is also of the opinion that you probably shouldn't fly small regional jets operated by no-frill airlines and you probably shouldn't fly on the jets operated by small European, African or South American companies. If you don't agree he'll point you to this recent example and remind you that the pilot's were so incompetent they crashed the plane straight into the ground because they couldn't land the plane unless the auto-land feature was properly working.

Anyway. The point is, Papa Duke is really good at calling "why" an aviation incident happened. He's been involved in quite a few post-crash investigations, he was hands-on involved in a recent aviation incident in the United States (and by hands on I mean after the crash, he has not crashed any planes recently...or ever come to think of it...) and he typically "gets" what happened. The incident in Buffalo? Yeah he called the whole ice + stick shaker + up instead down or down instead of up + inexperience and um, yeah then the media confirmed that one. When Capt. Sully landed the plane heroically in the Hudson my father pointed out that is why big bellied airline pilots make big money- most of them have the experience and calmness to do something like that. (Not in anyway underscoring what Capt. Sully did, but just that your typical pilot on a big old jetliner is a pretty experienced, cool, calm and collected individual.) Dad also has an entire sleep schedule that he adheres to to ensure that when he's flying a commercial airliner, he is well rested and isn't fatigued. He also says turbulence is no big thing and he's real sorry if his airline ever lost your bag. (But they probably didn't.) He also reminds you to keep your freaking seatbelt on when you are in your seat. Anyway. I digress.

Papa Duke has some opinions on that Air France crash. He starts with his opinion of the Air France pilots, generally speaking: "How could this happen? Look back three years ago the the Toronto Air France crash. When all other commercial pilots diverted due to thunderstorms, the boys from Air France landed. The runway was wet and the tailwind was about 40 miles per hour. No jet in the world can land, then stop on a concrete runway during those environmental conditions. Why did the Air France pilots land? Good question. The accident report remains mute on the details so that the Canadians don't embarrass the French."

Dad then points out that Airbus (French owned!) has had its own bit of, well, embarrassment lately. We can take a quick peak at the A380 fiasco and move right along. The point is France would like Airbus to look a shining as possible as a major employer/corporation. And Air France would probably not like to admit that its pilots flew into an equatorial thunderstorm (with storms going up to almost 60,000 feet while the plane flies along at 35,000 feet, which he says is nothing short of the stupidest idea ever) coupled with this fun, yet little known fact: One other piece of information worth discussing is that the Airbus is essentially an electric jet. All control surfaces are controlled by electricity and hydraulics like an F-16. It is pretty cool and very light weight but it has some glitches. (Boeing builds a combination of electric/hydraulic with cable jets that don't have the same kind of glitches. The industry not sure which is better.) There have been a few incidents where Airbus jets "went dark". Meaning that all 5 TV screens in the cockpit went blank, or dark. When this happens the jet is dead and needs to be re-booted, which can not be done in flight. Airbus won't discuss this feature. It is worth noting that when a jet goes "dead" the pilot also loses any steering capability. In a dark lightening storm suddenly a pilot doesn't know which way is up or down much less North or South. That? That spells catastrophe. It is at that point, as Papa Duke puts it, that the very experienced pilot becomes nothing but a passenger. It is worth pointing out that lightening is lightening because energy is energy- but an equatorial thunderstorm is a different sort of beast- and not something average airline passenger should worry about. Those types of storms simply don't brew in the United States. And the average pilot in the United States would also have the brains to divert or fly around the storm rather than attempting to buck'n'bronco through it.

Papa Duke's ultimate conclusion? "In a year or two you will read that a freak lightning strike over the Atlantic disabled the jet which then hit a thunderstorm and that the pilots could not recover from the storm."

Discuss as you see fit. Tell me that you are afraid to fly. Papa Duke will tell you you are crazy.

Full post as published by Legally Blonde Ambition on June 02, 2009 (boomark / email).