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: Legally Blonde Ambition

A Play, In One Act

By "Daisy Duke"

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It is a unseasonably warm March night in Chicago, albeit a rainy one. The scene unfolds in a small vintage apartment with cheery hardwood floors & a young couple. The gentlemen watches ESPN. The lady is seen in the kitchen.

(Surrounded by a blender, a food processor, cookie sheets, an Oktoberfest mug from Munich and various other small appliances, she searches, frantically.)

BISMOW: Um. Whatcha doing in there?

Daisy: Oh nothing. (Lifts lid to waffle iron, closes it with a thud. Lies on the floor, peering under an antique dresser that serves as a utensil drawer.)

BISMOW: Then what is all that noise? Seriously, what are you doing?

Daisy: Really, nothing. (Looks frantically inside blender. Shakes blender upside down and then replaces it, dejectedly on the floor. Then looks inside of Oktoberfest mug. Nothing is found.)

BISMOW: (Coming into the kitchen.) Then why have you pulled all of this from under the dresser? And why are you looking under the fridge?

Daisy: Well it certainly isn't because I've somehow dropped & lost my engagement ring. (Looks inside food processor. Finds nothing.)

BISMOW: (Laughing hysterically at the frantic Daisy who is near tears and lying on the kitchen floor somehow contorting herself to see if she can see under the stove.) You lost your engagement ring? This is priceless. Almost as priceless as you getting sick the night we got engaged after one too many glasses of champagne.

Daisy: (Sitting up angrily) It was NERVES and EXCITEMENT not champagne. Please. And um yeah. Please help me?

BISMOW: Good thing you insured it, eh? (Still stands in kitchen entry, laughing at Daisy. Daisy is now crawling underneath the dresser, almost in tears.)

Daisy: I was cleaning up from dinner. I was throwing away the roasted chicken bones and I didn't want to get the ring dirty so I took it off & set it on top of the cookbook. When I went to put it back on, I somehow bumped the cookbook and it flew off. Onto the floor. I heard it bounce. How can we move the fridge?

BISMOW: Bounced did it? How nice. I'm so glad I've invested in our future. (Leans over and opens bottom drawer of antique dresser.) Ahah! (Retrieves stack of tupperware lids. Nestled inside is one diamond ring.) I'm not putting any of this stuff away.

The End.

Full post as published by Legally Blonde Ambition on March 11, 2009 (boomark / email).