Law Students

Pet Decision

By Casebook Sherpa

If I spent more time at home, we’d have a dog.

Not a yippy little dog that makes you think, “Aw. You think you’re cute? Well, when your owner’s not looking, I’m going to punt you off this balcony.”

But a reasonably-sized dog that could tear an intruder’s arm off if need be.

Kinda like Jansen’s, minus the drool. Or this guy:

Why am I talking about this?

Well, (a) it’s an ongoing discussion between Mrs. Sherpa and me, and (b) Above the Law posted this discussion last night. (And I had to get that health care post out of the top spot on the homepage.)

What is the best pet for lawyers (or law students)?

At ATL, Elie Mystal mentions all the things that make me a “dog person” and describes cats perfectly:

Sure, when a dog ?loves? you, it?s really thinking something like, ?I hope he has some chicken. Do I smell chicken? Chickenchickenbaconwithchicken ? oh look I can pee on that.? But what the dog is actually thinking doesn?t matter. All that matters is that the animal has been designed to make you feel good about yourself.

Not so with the cat. No, the cat is a tiny predator that has been shrunk to fit into our homes. It doesn?t need you, it doesn?t really want to be there, and it would just as soon kill you as look at you. Cats are sneaky and deceptive. To them, you?re just a monkey to be scavenged from. While you?re sleeping, your cat is thinking of ways to end you. As I said, you can get a wife if you like sleeping with one eye open.

Now, tell me what lawyers need more? Another malefactor looking to destroy them, or the unconditional love they?ll never get from work? It seems obvious to me. Lawyers have enough enemies and saboteurs in their life. And they?re lonely. What they need is a best friend.

Yes, I do prefer a shallow animal.

I also prefer an animal that’s been bred to love and protect me and my family, rather than loathe and despise me.

The former is there to serve me. The latter expects to be served, but if you just leave the food doesn’t really even care about you at all.

As Cesar Milan would say: I prefer to be the pack leader in my home, rather than a mere inconvenience, a necessary evil that provides food, to a pint-sized predator.

So how about it cat people? Why am I wrong?

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Full post as published by Fight The Hypo on March 31, 2010 (boomark / email).