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: Butterflyfish

Ma'am

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I internally cringe whenever I am called Ma'am.

It makes me feel old.

I don't like the feel of the word -- it is a little cold and unfamiliar and formal, and I tend to be a warm, open, informal kind of gal in my personal interactions. It strikes me as discordant when after a pleasant exchange with someone, I get a Thank You Ma'am or You're Welcome Ma'am or Take Care Ma'am.

In typing that, I realize what leaving the south has cost me--living in Texas for four years, I was completely comfortable with that. I was called Ma'am a dozen times an hour, by my students, by my fellow (male) teachers, by store clerks. No problem. It really only feels discordant because of where I live now.

I was thinking of this because much hay is being made of Barbara Boxer's exchange with Army Brigadier General Michael Walsh.


The thing is... my husband is military. He calls every adult/authority figure/person to whom he owes formality and respect Sir or Ma'am. He still calls my Mom Ma'am sometimes, and we've been married for over a decade.

So while I see Boxer's point--she did earn the title Senator and has the right to insist upon its use--I thought the upbraiding was a tad adolescent. I really doubt disrespect was meant.

Full post as published by Butterflyfish on June 19, 2009 (boomark / email).

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