Law Students

Easing Back In

By Andrea

I've been trying to blog about something other than THE MONEY for a few days, and it's harder than I thought. Part of it is that we've been in a flurry of paying off loans and figuring out our taxes and what to store in what accounts, and the dust hasn't settled by far, so we're always talking or emailing about it.

But mostly it's because everything feels so weird right now. I took out $80 from the ATM and got a receipt, and there was a crazy six-figure number there as my available balance. It's hard to know how to feel about ourselves now - not that our moral worth has changed or anything, but getting used to the idea that we are temporarily in possession of much more than we need - it makes me feel a little unmoored, if you know what I mean. I'm very attached to being a middle-class girl. That's one reason I've been planning so carefully what we're saving, investing, and giving away. I want the money OUT of our checking account and locked away where I don't look at it every day and boggle over the strangeness of the whole thing.

We're staying in our average apartment another year, and we really don't want to start buying $15 lunches every day and otherwise leaking money all over the place so that in a year we don't know where it all went. I just don't want us to start feeling like we have a higher standard of living that we "deserve," because I feel like that's the way to lose sight of all your biggest, most wonderful goals. I hope it doesn't sound like I'm being really rigid and not at all fun. I don't get a very big kick out of spending a lot on clothes or spontaneously splurging on entertainment, for example, but planning our Europe trip with a large but firm budget is thrilling. I now look at "house porn" - internet listings for pretty houses in the D.C. area in our price range - frequently, and find that a lot more fun than if I got a lot of shoes or went out to classy bars all weekend.

Anyway, I still have a life. Becca is, well, becoming a toddler, including smushing carrots and beans with her fingers when she's bored, exploring various high-pitched shrieks of frustration, and doing a half-headstand to impress us during playtime. Work is pretty great, actually - I submitted my first motion for subpoena today (it's a really small thing, but it looks so snappy), and feel like I learn a new skill or corner of the law every week. But things still don't quite feel "normal," and maybe they won't for a while. I guess that's not terrible. Just new.

Full post as published by Peanut Butter Burrito on April 01, 2009 (boomark / email).