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: Legally Blonde Ambition

Like A Bloodhound

By "Daisy Duke"

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Among other traits, I have an incredibly keen sense of smell. Hearing, pffft I'll probably be deaf by the time I am 50- but smell? I can smell just about anything. If BISMOW is cooking I can tell what brand of hot sauce he is using from the other room. If anyone takes a shower and I'm withing 30 feet of the bathroom I can tell which shampoo and brand of soap they use. I can smell the difference between different onions being sauteed. I know which apartments in my building contain pot smokers. Body odor often makes me gag (which is why I often avoid the El in Chicago in the summer!) and while I love golden retrievers, the oil that they produce in their coats is so overwhelming I could never own one. I throw sponges out after a week or two because after that I walk into a kitchen and they are all I can smell. If I walk into a grocery store and there is one rotten potato in their bins I can smell it and I have to leave or else I will probably get sick in the dairy aisle.

The point is, I smell reaaalllly reallly well.

Last weekend there was a smell in my apartment. I couldn't put my finger on it, but when BISMOW could smell it too, I knew this wasn't just another one of my "odors" that was wafting from three floors below that I just needed to let go. I took the trash out about 10 times. I cleaned out the fridge. I swept. I mopped. I scrubbed the counters with bleach and the scoured the stove and cleaned out the drip pan in the bottom of the oven. Still, they mystery scent prevailed and it was not delicious.

Finally BISMOW determined it was the trash can. I was incredulous. I am incredibly clean person (read: OCD) and we use baking soda lined trash cans and we had just taken the trash out. BISMOW removed the trash bag and then. The horror. The smell. The disgusting.

So lesson learned: A small piece of tuna fish left in the bottom of a trash can for approximately two weeks will in fact, destroy the trash can.

We tried bleach. Febreeze. All natural cleaning products (shut up they are all I own other than the bleach). We put coffee grounds in it. We set a fan up to air it out. We succeeded in using a lot of cleaning products and wasting the coffee. The trash can was done.

So that is how last Sunday we had ourselves a nice little afternoon at Bed Bath & Beyond where I selected the nicest, shiniest (fingerprint proof!) Simple Human trash can with a removable liner and a soft shut mechanism.

Ahhh. The smell of tranquility.

Full post as published by Legally Blonde Ambition on March 25, 2009 (boomark / email).