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15 Things For 15 People

A friend just introduced me to Bright Yellow World which has a great post about writing 15 things you would like to say to 15 different people. Mine:

1. I'm sick of you complaining what a hard life you've had, when you have far more blessings than the average person. Wake up.

2. You have so much potential. I want to snap you out of this half-life you're living. Take a year and follow your dream. If you fail, at least you tried.

3. I feel like I abandoned you, even though it wasn't intentional. I could have been a better friend, and I'm sorry you weren't a priority in my life for awhile. I wish I could make it up to you somehow, but I don't think it's possible now.

4. I want to be as good as you are. I admire how you listen, the advice you give, your excellent moral compass, and that ability to be non-judgmental and not jump to conclusions.

5. Yes, I know you're happy. Very, very happy. HAPPY! But do you have to go on about your immense joy for 15 minutes without stopping? I might congratulate you on your own success if you didn't belittle and joke about the small positives occurring in my life recently. I know they might pale in comparison to yours, but have a little compassion, hmm?

6. Don't act like you didn't cast me off. You didn't have to choose between me and her. I never asked you to make that choice. I just wanted you to stick up for me once in awhile and to know I could count on you to be in my corner. Unfortunately, I don't expect that now.

7. Since the beginning, you have always been the most positive influence in my life. I admire your grace, your laugh, your kindness, your warm hands that consoled me. Who knows where I would be right now without you? I want someday to truly thank you for everything.

8. What a silly, silly girl I was back then. I wish I could say that I'm no longer bitter because I've obviously found better, but I still kinda sorta begrudge you your own happiness because of how poorly you treated me. I often wonder if that makes me a bad person, and you probably would say that it does. I'm not.

9. Please forgive me for my childhood indiscretions. Your friendship meant everything to me back then, and I understood we would inevitably grow apart, but I didn't expect it to sour so unexpectedly almost overnight.

10. I miss you at the most unexpected times. It's unavoidable, tragically.

11. I know you're trying to give advice, but your "truth-talking" stings, not helps. Take a minute to think about how your words affect others.

12. You should first and foremost endeavor to deserve her.

13. You don't have to lavish hugs in order for me to know how much you care. I know.

14. Thank you for being a good friend to me when I needed it most. I can't imagine not having you in my life at that point; it would have been unbearable.

15. Sometimes when you were not looking, I would purposely pay attention to the little things so I would have tiny memories to hold onto: like the way you read a newspaper, scratch your head, or pour a cup of coffee.

Full post as published by Wicked Words on January 24, 2008 (boomark / email).