Law Humor

By Judge Jerry Buchmeyer

Raise Your Right Hand
Q. Do you understand what you are to swear to?
A. Yes, sir. I am to swear and tell the truth.
Q. That's right. And do you know what will happen if you don't tell the truth?
A. Well, your honor, I expect the other side will win the case.
___

Do the Preliminary Stuff First
Q. Mrs. Jones, is your appearance this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A. No. This is how I dress when I go to work.
___

Q. Mrs. Bates, where do you live?
A. Mexia, Texas.
Q. Have you lived in Mexia all of your life?
A. Not yet.
___

Q. Are you married?
A. No, I'm divorced.
Q. What did your husband do before you divorced him?
A. A lot of things that I don't know about.

Full post as published by Say What! on September 01, 2009 (boomark / email).