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Hello Ladies of Austin,

So here's the dream: after a lovely dinner at a beautiful restaurant, we spend New Year's Eve listening to Jimmie Vaughn at the Continental Club Gallery. Then Chuck Prophet at the Continental Club Friday night January 1st. How about a date for one wild New Year's Weekend?

My name is Wayne the Lawyer, and I'm a damn good Board-Certified Criminal Defense Lawyer from Houston. I travel to Austin all the time for Court and fun. I'm looking for a partner in crime/accomplice/friend/lover/concubine/muse to enjoy Austin with. You know: Esther's Follies, live music, great restaurants, drinks by the pool with my dog at the Hotel San Jose.

As for me, I'm 52 years old, but I'm really immature. I'm 6'2", 210 pounds, and blonde hair...what's left of it. I've been told that I'm handsome but you know how people lie to you. I'm half comedian and half Hell-raising, far-left, Liberal Lawyer. My sense of humor is neither clean nor politically correct, so if you're easily offended, don't bother. And please don't be religious or Republican.

Back to DreamWorld: we could even spent New Year's Day together at Garner State Park with my dog in the Frio River if it's a nice day, or some serious shopping if the weather sucks. I guess I'm what is known as a Limosine Liberal; I'm hooked on Whit Hanks Antiques, Needless Markup's Last Call Store on Ben White, as well as the Factory Stores in San Marcos. I must confess that this old Hippie likes nice things. I've been a lifelong collector of Art and Antiques. Travel is another luxury I can't do without. I'm very much into good music and old movies as well. More dreaming: you love Johnny Cash, Nick Cave, Humphrey Bogart, Tribal Oriental Carpets, Gothic Furniture, Pre-Raphaelite Stained Glass Windows, and Italian fabrics also. And your favorite places to travel are Amsterdam, NYC, Yellowstone, and Monument Valley. Well, a guy can dream can't he?

I'll gladly provide you with a photo and my real name if you wish to check me out. I'm proud of my reputation both personally and professionally. I promise that I will amuse you, spoil you, and treat you with respect if you can deal with my outrageous sense of humor. My favorite comedians include Bill Hicks, Richard Pryor, and Louie CK. If you can't take their material (just check them out on YouTube), then we really shouldn't waste each other's time.

Well, all this talk about humor, I better throw a joke in here. I once heard a comic say that "yeah, Women can fake orgasms, but Men can fake entire relationships." Yikes, it's true!

So how about a fun filled, 36-hour New Year's Weekend Half-Blind Date? Let's email, then talk, see if this'll work, and then have an incredible time together. And no, this ad is not looking for sex. So no pros or even amateur escorts should respond unless you need a good Criminal Defense Lawyer. Anyway, I don't fuck on the first date. I do love kissing however, so be warned, I'll be hoping for a passionate New Year's Make Out Session.

"Goodnight Austin Texas wherever you are." Extra points and prizes will be awarded to those who know what Live-at-the-Armadillo-World-Headquarters Album that line comes from.

Happy Holidays everyone. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,

Wayne the Lawyer

• Location: Austin
• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

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