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Law Humor

: Bernard Madoff

Moving is a Bitch

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To: I. Sorkin, Esq.
From: Herb Hoelter, Esq.

Thanks for facilitating the deposit check. Was that Ruth's signature in liptstick?

As you know, the sentencing process can be tricky, and as much as your client's feeder funds took pride in making guarantees, there are no guarantees when it comes to the facility that Bernie might get remanded to.

We tried our best with Martha Stewart, but as she'll confirm, its possible that our proposal will wind up in the hands of a BOP staffer that woke up on the wrong side of the bed--and Bernie could just as easily wind up in Alcatraz, as opposed to Allenwood.

But, rest assured, Bernie's handicap card from Fresh Meadows should help to convince the BOP that if they want to maintain the sponsorship revenue for the BOP Pro/Am Golf Tournament, he should be remanded to a facility that can leverage his talents for the greater good. If I'm wrong, and he gets sent to Alcatraz, his boating knowledge will come in handy. After a few years of good behavior, perhaps someone will see fit to have him skipper one of the motor boats that transports food and other items between SF and The Rock.

The good news is that BOP's internet policies are evolving across the system, which means that Bernie should be able to email his family and friends, and update his blog. I don't know whether he'll be able to bring his Apple notebook with him, but I'd have to believe that his offering to supply the facility with stock in Soapopular will help to influence the right people.

Again, thanks for the introduction to the Madoff family. Speak to you soon.
Herb

To: Sonny Cohn
From: Sonja Kahn

Sonny- I don't how or why people are suggesting that I was receiving quarterly commissions from Cohmad, but as my attorney has pointed out, I've personally had to write off more than $6 million in losses associated with deposits at BMIS. While I can't recall how much we originally invested and how much of the $6 million was Bernie Dollars, you can be certain that we've been pressing Irv Picard to honor our SIPC claims.

Since I'm trying to keep a low profile, I'd appreciate any news that you might have heard about children suing their parents and grandparents that acted as trustees for
various trust funds. I've read that there are several suits that claim the family trustees failed to protect the funds and some courts are actually considering these claims.

Not that I'm personally concerned about a grandchild suing me, but I have several friends that are asking for my expert analysis.

Sonja

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on June 01, 2009 (boomark / email).

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