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Mid Day With Madoff... Of course everyone is pleading the 5th!

I've got a few things to cover, than I've got to get a manicure:

1.To Bill Galvin-

I don't know why you're making such a big stink about my good friends at Cohmad.
Sonny Cohn and Sonny Delaire are unimpeachable. Dopamine Bob Jaffe has already pleaded the 5th, and as far as I know, he can't count much higher than that. Unless when it comes to how much his landscaper is charging him.

As far as those wire transfers to Ruth; if you didn't already know it, she agreed to be part of the asset freeze order. OK, so that $15 million might have wound up at SIB down in Antigua. Speak to Sir Allen about that.

Or maybe she did some holiday shopping at David Webb. I can't remember--every time she takes out the defib, the shock is effecting my memory cells.

Payments to Sonja Kohn?? We discussed this right here, and I told all about this weeks ago. Of course we compensated people that directed customers to us. We call that a "commission".

Is it my problem whether any of those people disclosed that to their investors?? Of course not!

2. To Irving Picard:

Ira sent over the transcripts from your meeting yesterday with the Judge. I'm as pissed as you are that the FBI is making it impossible to get information from files on the 17th floor. And Pete is pissed off too. That kid Eliot Spitzer insists that he returned Pete's black book, and that Spitzer claims he sent it to the office, but now Pete can't find the damn thing. Hopefully your people will have better luck. Try looking under the f--king donut boxes that the Feds are leaving all over the place.

3. To Sonny Cohn and Sonny Delaire:

Just be glad that those Feds didn't even think of looking in your office. It was a mess the last time I stopped in, and you know how I hate a mess. But, I'm guessing that Marcia has had it cleaned up since then. Anyway, I need one of you to do Pete a favor, and see if maybe Spitzer's package was delivered to your office by mistake. Otherwise, maybe it was dropped on Noel Levine's desk. Let me know.

4. To Craig Kugel:
I also read in those transcripts that the Judge said you were a complete idiot for personally signing off on the car lease. I can't disagree with him. Best we can do right now is put you back on the phones and on the Madoff Mania Inc. payroll. Maybe you can sell some of our golf balls? Scroll to the right column and see what you think. If you want a job, speak to Pete about that, ASAP.

5. To Jodi:
There's got to be at least a dozen people that are crapping in their pants right now thanks to that guy Bill Galvin. If they're not, they should be. Check to make sure we've got enough Madoff Toilet Paper in the warehouse. In the meantime, scroll down the right column and make sure the Buy Now button is still working.

6. To: Frank D.
Have Sonya Kohn call my private line. Tell her to use a pay phone; I'm sure that you've got plenty of dimes that you can give her. Oy.

More later..

Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on February 12, 2009 (boomark / email).