Law Humor

Bernie and the Beards

First let me say--to Mr. Malkovich; I'm sorry that Being John Malkovich doesn't actually mean that you're entitled to treatment that's any different from anyone else when it comes to our processing claims.

Its obvious that your lawyers don't "get it", or at least, they're certainly not going to get it from us. If anybody's getting anything, it must be your retainer payments.

Every time we get a silly lawyer's letter, we laugh. And, when we laugh, we inadvertently misplace files.

Seems like you're throwing good money after bad, but that's just a personal opinion. My advice to you is to get back in line, re-submit your claim properly, and we'll take another look at what you are actually entitled to.

More importantly; red flags go up whenever we run into people with facial hair. In fact, it creates a real hairball. Don't ask me why, but we think that people with hair in places other than their head have something to hide.

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Full post as published by Bernard Madoff on April 12, 2010 (boomark / email).