Family Law

Do You Overparent Your Children?

By J. Benjamin Stevens

A recent article in Time addresses the issue of parents "overparenting" their children.  Parents have become obsessed with their child's safety and education, and that's not necessarily a good thing.  Consider whether the following is too much:

• Some parents demanded that a nursery offer to teach Mandarin, claiming it's never to soon to prepare children for the competition of a global economy.
• Other parents began to write their children's homework and science projects for the best grade.
• A mayor in Connecticut agreed to chop down three hickory trees on one block because a grandmother was worried a stray nut would get in her pool that her grandson who is allergic to nuts occasionally swam in.

In 1969, 41% of parents allowed their children to walk to the bus stop or ride their bikes alone to the bus, but by 2001, it had dropped to only 13%.  Increasingly, parents simply aren't allowing their children out of their sight, and some parents hover over their children and infantilize them into being incompetent.

People seem to believe that there is a "secret formula" for parenting and that if you just read enough books and spend enough money, everything will be o.k.  The fact is that every child and every family are different, and it is o.k. to disagree or take a different path than what the books and media recommend. No matter how well you protect your child, they are going to have to learn things on their own.

Source:  "Can These Parents Be Saved' by Nancy Gibbs, published in Time (November 30, 2009).

Full post as published by SC Family Law Blog on December 28, 2009 (boomark / email).