Arbitration & Mediation

Negotiating Life's End: an Expression of Gratitude for My Friends and Readers

By Victoria Pynchon

(image from Thunderbow Expeditions) 

Though my posts about my father's illness and imminent death may seem "off topic," as my friend Joe Mockus' poem (below) reminds us, we are all heading toward this particular destination. 

This recognition helps give perspective to all of our negotiations -- with our families, ourselves, our workplace, our churches and mosques and synagogues, our commercial actitivies and our local, state, national and international political affairs. 

Anyone following this series knows that it is not yet concluded.  The conclusion will write itself.   I am simply the recorder.  

This particular life passage -- so close at hand -- is revelatory for the work I do because it touches on the true bottom line of every negotiation with our fellows -- honorable relationship; gratitude for community; the necessity of compassion; the expression of empathy; the willingness to forgive; and, the miracle of reconciliation.  

Before giving you Joe's poem, I want to say two things.

First, that my dad taught me life's greatest lesson rafting rivers from Costa Rica to Idaho -- keep your oar in the water ("for balance") and paddle through your fear.

Second, I want to thank everyone who has written to express sympathy.  You don't know how much it means to me to have my readers "come to life" in the way that so many of you have. 

Thank you.

That said, here is evidence of my own life's undeserved bounty -- a poem written for me by one of my oldest and dearest friends -- whose own father is struggling with end-of-life issues himself.  Attorney, poet, rock 'n roll musician, dad, husband and friend Joe Mockus taught me more about how to read -- I mean really read -- than anyone of our professors at U.C.San Diego where, for a time, we were both pursuing our undergraduate degrees in literature.  

This is the answer, by the way, to the question -- "what's the use of a liberal arts degree?"

Thank you Joe for writing this; for sending it; and for making this time in my own life not simply bearable, but beautiful as well.       

A Life

The primary activity is avoiding
Obstacles– rotting logs, mostly
Rocks. Rowing backwards
Against the flow. Slowing

The raft while the water
Moves fast. Picking the right
Spot and letting go
When the water turns white. Then

Near the end, finally pushing
Forward in the slack
Toward that beach
Where we all land

Full post as published by Settle It Now Negotiation Blog on June 01, 2008 (boomark / email).