Academic

If the Election Was Run by Dogs

By Ann Bartow

10. Vote tabulation has to be restarted every time someone spots
a squirrel.

9. Lots of growling whenever someone mentions that McCain is a vet.

8. Entire election thrown into chaos when it’s alleged that thousands of voters *appeared* to throw ballots into box but actually just hid them behind their backs.

7. Voters even more easily distracted by butterfly ballots.

6. Spaying and neutering drastically reduces number of pregnant chads.

5. “Exit Polling” just a fancy name for butt sniffing.

4. In Pit Bull County, hand counts are taken literally.

3. “Mr. Candidate, please respond to the question: Do you wanna go to the park? Huh? Huh? Wanna catch the ball?”

2. No difference at all: Either way, you end up with a steaming pile of democracy!

1. Finding ballots too confusing? Time to put voter to sleep.

Adapted from a list found at Top Five.

Full post as published by Feminist Law Professors on November 04, 2008 (boomark / email).