Family Law

Top Ten Myths of Divorce (Part One)

By J. Benjamin Stevens

There are few things in our society so riddled with myths, misperceptions, misunderstandings, and outright lies as divorce.  Lee Block recently published an article that attempts to dispel many of these myths.  I appreciate Ms. Block tackling this subject, and I hope you find her thoughts below enlightening:

1.  Myth: Divorce is the easy way out.  Reality: Divorce is NEVER the easy way out. In fact, it takes more courage to leave a bad or abusive marriage than it does to stay in a situation that is miserable. I am not encouraging divorce, but, if you are not happy in your marriage and decide to go out on your own, believe me, it will be the most difficult path you can take.

2.  Myth: Divorce is a dirty word. Reality: Considering that 50% of the couples that marry end in divorce, you would think by now that our society would be more forgiving of divorce, as well as more accepting. Divorce is not a dirty word or a disease. It is a place that you are in after you have been married and decide that marriage was not the best marriage for you.

3.  Myth: One person is always to blame in divorce. Reality: That is not always true. Sometimes, it just doesn't work out. You married young and decided you wanted different things or you grow apart. There are so many reasons for divorce, and because it takes two to make a marriage work, it usually takes two to make a divorce happen.

4.  Myth: One person always gets screwed in divorce. Reality: It has been said that a successful divorce is where both party's walk away feeling like they got screwed, and generally that is the case. He complains that she gets the house and the kids and she complains that she doesn't get enough child support. Do you see what I mean? Both parties feel like they got the short end of the stick.

5.  Myth: Judges in divorce court favor the mother. Reality: Judges are impartial and are supposed to take the best interest of the children into consideration. When they make their decisions, based on the facts they have, that is what they do. Mothers do generally get custody, but not all fathers ask for custody. According to The New York Times article by Lisa Belkin, there are now 2.2 million divorced women in the United States who do not have primary physical custody of their children, and an estimated 50 percent of fathers who seek such custody in a disputed divorce are granted it. Judges try to consider all factors when it comes to support and to custody and rule accordingly.

Later this week, we will take a look at myths 6 through 10.  Stay tuned...

Source: "Dispelling the Top 10 Myths of Divorce" by Lee Block, published at The Huffington Post.

Full post as published by SC Family Law Blog on January 24, 2011 (boomark / email).