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Dammit, Nancy W. Kappes (Paralegal) Was Called Home to Jesus' Bosom

By Lynne DeVenny

Today a good friend asked if I knew that Nancy W. Kappes (Paralegal) is no longer with us, making the world a much less interesting place. Yes, I knew. Not only was I shocked to my toes when I read The Bloggess' October 4, 2010 post, "R.I.P. Nancy W. Kappes," but a number of people emailed or DM'd me with the news, including her niece who wrote, "[Nancy] was hilarious, weirdly amazing, off beat and marching to a different drummer, and she was one of the coolest aunts I had."

I would have loved to have had Nancy as my aunt.

Nancy, 58, a paralegal employed by Harrison & Moberly in Indianapolis, died unexpectedly on October 1, 2010. I've been thinking about what to write constantly, knowing that I cannot do her justice, and I don't have a tenth of her creative writing talent. Plus, I just kept getting blubbery when I thought about trying to articulate how I felt about Nancy. Meeting her was on my bucket list, even if I had to go to a blogger convention and squeeze into a hotel bathroom, feeling like a legal duck out of water with a whole bunch of mommy bloggers who are way funnier than me, just to hear Nancy say anything. I even got weirdly stuck on the post title, but you know, Nancy would've yelled, "Dammit, Paralegal Queen Lynne, get that stick out of your butt, and just write the damn thing, preferably while you're drinking cheap bourbon and eating Judy Garland Trail Mix."

She even sent her obit a year in advance to Jenny, The Bloggess - because that's what paralegals do - and this is just another reason why everyone should write her own obit in advance, and make sure she's remembered exactly like she wants to be. And that if she wants to be cremated and have her ashes placed in a Dixie cup, everybody should follow her wishes, or else face the wrath of a ghost with a gift for cursing and no patience for dumbasses who cannot follow simple directions:

Please remember in your prayers our sister, Nancy W. Kappes, Paralegal, who was called Home to Jesus? bosom recently when her fucking head blew up. In life, she was a foul-mouthed, sarcastic, occasionally funny mother, who loved her children unconditionally. She will be remembered for nothing.

Ms. Kappes died of natural causes while being beheaded by her cherished Firm who, apparently, had had just enough of her antics, thankyouverymuch.

Nancy emailed me for a while in the fall of 2009, and she even talked about starting her own blog. I was all for her doing it (I thought it would be a super shake-up to the blawgosphere), but you know, seriously, Nancy really liked her job, and was genuinely concerned about the possible fall out of blogging, even though she sort of did it third person through The Bloggess. But her closest friend who gave her eulogy said, "Some bloggers encouraged Nancy to write a book, others simply called her 'a Modern-age Poet.' I think Nancy intended to pursue her writing after completing her back surgery next week, but now she will not have a chance to do so."

But from all my Google searches and my own personal experience, I can tell what Nancy really enjoyed was emailing bloggers who caught her interest, especially her beloved Jenny, sending wonderfully startling observations about particular blog posts, theories on child-raising you won't find in any social services manuals, and dispensing irreverent advice when you most needed it, a little like a Guardian Paralegal Angel who could really hold her Grey Goose and keyboard her direct stream of consciousness like the wind, when regular people would have no feeling left in their fingers and be blissfully unconscious, drooling on the keyboard. I never thought I'd never get another email from her again. If I did now, I'd blubber like those droolers she's not so interested in, and thank her for encouraging me to loosen up as a blogger, and for helping me push the envelope further as a writer than I dared - but not as far as I'd like (yet).

Nancy's obit is way better than the formal one published by the funeral home, but she was dead wrong about one thing. Nancy W. Kappes (Paralegal) will be remembered for everything.

Sources: The Bloggess; Harry W. Moore Family Mortuaries; Ask the Bloggess

Related Posts: Nancy W. Kappes (Paralegal) T-shirts; Nancy W. Kappes (Paralegal) Rocks BlogHer

Full post as published by Practical Paralegalism on November 02, 2010 (boomark / email).