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The Good, The Bad, & The Awkward

We survived the weekend with FIL and the fiancee. It was awkward, as expected. SIL and family ended up staying with her in-laws, who also live in this area, instead of with us, so we were on our own with entertaining on Saturday. I was civil, but definitely not reeking with southern hospitality.

FIL kept saying, "well, [SIL] is always so busy that I hardly ever see her, and I never hear a word out of [BIL]." Yeah, because they both tried to tell you how they felt about the whole situation and you completely blew them off. Now they don't even feel comfortable stopping by your house anymore. Get your head out of your ass--you're alienating your children and grandchildren.

I don't know what to say. No alarm bells went off, and I detected no ulterior motives, but I simply don't understand the attraction. She is the polar opposite of my ultra-conservative, traditional MIL. Replacement Judy* is a crunchy-granola hippie chick who dresses in purple and rainbows and dangley peace-sign earrings. She has been single for the last 25 years, after a short marriage ended in divorce. She is much more traveled than FIL who has always been happiest in his own backyard.

So while I get that FIL may be grasping at whatever (or whoever) comes along to avoid the grim realities of single-life, I absolutely cannot figure out why Replacement Judy is interested in FIL. Nor can I understand why she thinks its a good idea to go flying into a relationship with someone whose wife has been dead all of 3 months.

On Sunday, SIL's inlaws invited us all for a cookout and swimming before we all attended a baseball game together. FIL and Replacement Judy spent the entire day indoors ("it's too hot"), completely disengaged from their grandchildren who were swimming outdoors. The ball game went about as well. (OMG, I was going to lose my mind if I heard how hot it was one more time. Yes, it's July in [state where it is notoriously hotter than hell in July]--get over it.)

The good is that we had a great time visiting with SIL and her family and the kids loved playing with their cousins and at the baseball game.

They left early this morning, before the girls and I were even out of bed. DH heard them packing up and got up to say goodbye. Which is when FIL informed him that they would be getting married soon and they would not be dealing with the the church-required hoops right now. DH told his dad that he seemed to be rushing things, and FIL's response was "life is short." Then FIL asked if we wanted to participate in the wedding or just get a phone call when it was done.

Um no, we do not want to participate in a wedding, SIL and I had discussed the day before how we weren't sure we could survive a full-on wedding without getting emotional.

SIL also told me that FIL dropped off all of MIL's clothing with SIL#2 a couple of weeks ago and told her to deal with it. The following weekend, SIL was at FIL's house to get the mail while he was out of town. MIL's side of the closet is now filled with purple hippie-chick clothes and there is a purple alarm clock sitting on the nightstand opposite FIL's nightstand. Obviously they have moved in together, but FIL never bothered to mention that little detail.

The whole situation it nauseating. We will be returning to Hometown in a month for SIL's college graduation. We always stay with my inlaws, but there is no way in heck we can stay there now. Guess we'll be getting a hotel. That may bother FIL, but I really don't give a damn, since he obviously doesn't consider anybody else's feelings before he acts. (I just can't believe he put all of MIL's clothing in trashbags and dropped it off with SIL, instead of letting them go and sort through it all.)

Ugh, Ugh, Ugh!

*Have I mentioned that she has the same name as my MIL, "Judy"? Yes, because we needed more awkwardness. So fiancee is referred to as Replacement Judy.

Full post as published by Legally Certifiable on July 05, 2010 (boomark / email).