Law Humor

Big-bellied rapist Bruce Tuck, a flabby 275-pounder who was somewhat uncreatively nicknamed the "Big-Bellied Rapist" during a string of crimes he committed in Tennessee, has now argued in court papers that his confession was coerced because a detective offered him a bag of chips in exchange for it.

Tuck was convicted in Weakley County, Tennessee, last December of multiple felony charges stemming from three rapes and is already serving a 60-year sentence for those crimes.  Police in Shelby County (Memphis) indicted him earlier this year for other crimes he allegedly committed there the previous summer, and he is awaiting trial on those counts. In the meantime, he has apparently decided to represent himself in a challenge to the earlier conviction.  A bad idea for him, but always good news for those of us in the legal-humor business.

Tuck's 10-page petition seeks to overturn the prior conviction on multiple grounds, including an allegedly illegal search of his bedroom, failure to read him his "Miranda right," and ineffective assistance of counsel.  For our purposes, though, the interesting argument is the one claiming that his confession was effectively coerced because a detective offered the fat bastard a snack.

The triple-chinned felon claims that despite his monstrous size and appetite he was "placed on a diet of lettuce only upon incarceration," and that after he had suffered the lettuce torture for an unspecified period of time "Detective Marty Plunk offered [Tuck] a bag of chips and a cold drink" in exchange for talking about the case.  This temptation of the chips and soda, Tuck says, is why he confessed to 19 felony charges.  (Police said that "overwhelming DNA evidence" might also have had something to do with his conviction.)

Tuck's defense lawyer, who would probably like me to make clear he is not representing Tuck on appeal, reportedly said that "this kind of plea is common after a conviction."  I assume he was talking about the claim of ineffective assistance, although as Americans continue to embiggen their waistlines, claims of diabolically cruel snack-withholding interrogation techniques may become more and more common.

The report did not say what kind of chips Tuck had been unable to resist.

Link: WMC-TV (Memphis)